I believe if a man is serious he will go to your father/mahram and not waste time flirting and messaging you alone. He won't have you gaining sins if he's a righteous spouse.
Idk how to advice one of my closest friends to stop messaging with men w/o coming across as harsh. I know haram relationships are normalized today, but really want to get through without shaming her.
any advice?
hiiii girlies!!
A year ago I was in a mental hospital and when I got out (I couldn't afford to stay in the m.h longer) it was the darkest point in my life. In no way did my sister help me. Not emotionally, or even a simple "how are you?", but she would constantly ask me for rides and money. I was in a vulnerable state and wasn't thinking clearly so I said yes to everything. From rides, to money, to ubering her (when I was too tired to drive her). I know my sister struggles to open up to people so I just excused her behavior and made dua about it.
I'm in therapy now and feel so much resentment. I feel taken advantage of. Never in my life would I ask someone who I know is struggling with s***** to take me to work or money. I feel at my lowest my sister took from me. And I know she would never do this to her friends. My sister is the person who is loved by everyone in the masjid and would take a flight if her friend was sick, but for some reason I'm never given the kindness and consideration she gives to others.
I just never understand why she can never show up for me? Like why am I not worthy of the kindness and grace she shows to other.
She's told me how much she appreciates having me as a sister and how reliable I am. But outside of asking for money and buying her items my sister doesn't check up on me or rarely hang out.
Idk what to do and how to go about expressing myself.
(p.s we're both in our mid 20's)
I rarely see post towards the revert sisters so just wanted to make this a space for them inshaAllah. Maybe we can help one another out and provide resources.
I just need to get this off my chest!!!
I joined an islamic discord group 6 months ago. This group was originally all men (100+) and they created a new one for sisters (at the time I was the only women). It’s segregated, but the admin/teachers can access both groups and post reminders.
The teacher that I have a crush on he's very kind. He offered to buy me new Islamic books if I can’t afford it. I showed interest in learning Arabic and he paid for a year of classes and sent the info to me. He also found me a Hafiz teacher and paid 3 months ahead to see if I like it. I thought this was normal until he mentioned he never did it for any of the brothers. Also we exchanged emails and I did have a pic of myself before I changed it.
I knew I was being a bit delusional so I invited my friends to the discord so I'm not the only woman. But in our chat he will specifically @ me and have the other admin address my friends. I plan to leave this discord because it is a bit weird to have a crush on a teacher, but idk how yet. It maybe a little rude to just ghost and delete my discord.
I'm honestly just shocked at myself. This is the first time I've ever had a crush on a man or attracted to one. I thought I was a on the other team prior to this. Thanks for coming to my embarrassing ted talk
p.s we never messaged alone always in chats w/ other people unless he's teaching a lesson and I'm the only one who attends, but our messages are public to everyone.
Edit/Update: I decided to be bold and just ask. InshaAllah I will be leaving the discord.
Update: yesss he likes me and since I privately messaged him he created another chat with his sister to keep it halal. He wrote paragraphs saying he’s interested & asked for my mahrams number. THIS JAPPENED LIKE 20MINS AG OOO AND IVE BEEN IFNORRNING It because idek what to do im so shocked I thought i was just being delusional. BUT IM GETTING MY BROTHER INVOLVED ASAP!!!! Thanks everyone for the advice
Hi girlies,
I’m not attracted to men at all never have been, but I want kids of my own. I’m currently in the process of meeting 4 potentials and debating whether I should keep this hidden or be honest about it.
My plan is to get married in the next 6 months and I made it a requirement to get fertility checks. I also have a lot of other nonnegotiable so it’s not like I’m taking this lightly.
I feel like keeping this hidden is me hiding my sins.
I’d appreciate brutal honesty. Am I wrong?
I just spent some time crying over this and decide to share so I can finally get this off my chest.
One of the biggest struggles of having a polygamous father was the finances.
We grew up in a low income household and lived paycheck to paycheck. My father would spend most of the money spoiling his new wife’s.
We’re a family of 6 sisters and my father refused to buy us pads. So we would have to use diapers, rags or even paper during our monthly. I’m in my mid 20s now and I have a lot of health problems because of this.
We didn’t have money for basic hygiene stuff like deodorant and soap. So we would have to use detergent to wash ourselves & we always smelled bad. This led to years of being bullied at school & in the masjid.
While my dad would buy new cars and gold for the new wife he was trying to impress. We had to share school supplies and hunt at thrift stores for undergarments.
Now that I’m older I noticed that I am always hoarding. Instead of buying 1 pack of soap I’ll buy 6. Instead of buying all the groceries I need. I’ll buy 3 items and starve myself. I have a good savings and good paying job, but I am so anxious and afraid I rarely spend on myself out of necessities.
If you’re reading this please make dua for me. I’ve always felt sadness in my life, but I feel this period of my life is darker than before. I’m struggling mentally & physically.
I wish moving away would have solved all my problems, but it’s like all the memories are coming back to me 10x now.
i feel so defeated this my 2nd time taking it and I failed. Idk what I'm doing wrong. When I'm studying I feel so confident and understand the material, but the exam looks completely different.
just needed to vent idk how to pass this and how everyone is doing it
I’d appreciate any advice I have no clue how to get over this fear/embarrassment of going for a checkout.
1- I’m going for a Pap smear and I’m so scared it’ll be painful. I have low pain tolerance, but want to make sure I am healthy. Cancer and a lot of illness runs in my family
2- 😂 can I chat with the doctor first and get to know them before I just open up. I’m scared they’ll judge me and of how awkward it’ll be
This is my first appointment and I’m so close to cancelling!! How did everyone’s first appointment go?
I went through years of physical abuse by my father starting as a child (youngest I remember was 8) and lasted til my 20's.
Idc about justice in the next life. Wallahi I get so sick of hearing this. I am suffering today. I am so tired of people telling me to be PATIENT. I literally served and took care of the man food who beat me everyday is that not patient enough???
I tried everything. I did umrah, became a Hafiz and spent all my money in therapy and this is still heavy on my chest.
This life is set up to help abusers. From the failed court system who doesn't take child abuse serious to the police officers who fail to do welfare checks. The greatest supporters of abuse that I've met is the hafiz,aalim,imams in my community. They will pull out any hadith and twist it. Because to them it's better for a women to stay under a roof she's getting beat in than to move away. The worst is also the pick me/male obsessed women who try to convince me that if I moved away I wouldn't be seen as "marriage material".
idk how people just cope with getting abused and not getting justicee how's that possible?? I can feel my trauma in my bones. My body is always in pain.
thanks for coming to my tedtalk
Currently in the process of gaining islamic knowledge starting with basics of Tawheed and I am overwhelmed.
I feel so behind in gaining knowledge and sometimes feel paralyzed looking at everything I need to learn that I just go to sleep.
I have intense anxiety that I'm going to hell for not knowing islam on a deeper level & I also feel so ashamed like I'm in my mid 20s and only have surface level knowledge of islam.
Please make dua for me this has really affected me mentally.
I have very thin brows and it’s never grown. I’d like for it to be more visible and much thicker.
I’d appreciate any advice