Confused, fear/anxiety
I don’t know if I can vent here or not, but I’ve been dating this girl for about half a year, I love her so much our relationship she’s always been a girl just a girl nothing else. But recently she opened up to me about feeling like a girl and a boy. She told me she didn’t know what it was so I showed her the google definition of gender fluid and she said that’s what she is. She’s still trying to accept herself she says it’s comfortable to her but it’s always something she can’t control. I’m a straight man, I strictly date women I’ve never been in a relationship with a man. But I’ve struggled with HOCD for half a year in 2025, (HOCD is homosexual ocd, I pretty much had a fear of being gay) I was able to beat it and come to peace with myself as a straight man. But now that my girlfriend is coming out to me I feel it coming back and I’m just overall confused can I be a straight man while dating a gender fluid girl. I don’t see myself as pan or bi because I don’t like men nothing about them excite me, and in a dating manner I want a woman. But if a girl has guy pronouns I’ll still date her, when she opened up to me I honestly didn’t mind, I love her so i accept her, she wanted me to call her nicknames like i use to call her but in a male version. Like I use to always call her “pretty girl” I’ve been calling her “pretty boy”, “handsome”, “beautiful boy”. And she likes it and it makes her happy I’m glad it does. But it’s triggering my hocd and I’m confused if I’m still straight. I wanna be straight, and I also wanna treat her the way she wants to be treated. I don’t know if I’m just dealing with fear and anxiety because in the moment calling her, these things don’t make me uncomfortable and they don’t feel wrong. But being gay makes me uncomfortable doesn’t feel right and feels wrong. She said she wants to be called the stuff. I used to call her when she was a girl and the new things as a guy and I don’t mind at all. But fear and anxiety has been getting in the way and clouding my mind.