u/princessgirl410875

I got engaged several months ago and was in a weekday bridal group, but I LEFT after I shared about my wedding and one of my future in-laws’ friends absolutely ripped my fiancé and me apart over our guest list.

For context, I have NEVER met this woman, and my fiancé hasn’t seen her since before COVID. She never congratulated us or reached out, but apparently felt entitled to walk up to us, tell us our wedding was too small, that we needed to invite her and her family, AND some of their mutual friends.

I was genuinely hurt that someone I don’t even know felt entitled to make me feel bad about the wedding my fiancé and I want and can afford. I was venting and several girls were nice and supportive, sharing how out of line a grown ass woman was being.

Then JENNY jumped in and said I should “know my audience” and understand “what kind of wedding I needed to be hosting for my fiancé’s family.”

The audacity floored me. Jenny isn’t even engaged and has never planned a wedding, so I’m not sure why she felt qualified to lecture me about my feelings about my wedding. And unless something has changed, I don’t exactly see Connor proposing to her ANYTIME soon. What a bitch.

My submission didn’t get read this week, and I would love input from other swirlies.

Dear Toasters,
I’m an engaged swirly planning my wedding, and I’ve reached a crossroads with my ceremony choices.

After getting engaged, I asked a friend from college to sing during my ceremony. I was excited to have her be part of such an important moment, but lately I’ve been questioning whether I still want her involved after seeing some of her TikTok reposts.

She frequently reposts things on Tik Tok along the lines of: “I’m in my 20s (beer, parties, bikinis, beach emoji) and you’re in your 20s (wedding, family, babies, rings emoji). We aren’t the same,” or posts about how single women’s achievements should be celebrated.

I want to be clear: I don’t think these posts are directed at me. A lot of our mutual friends are getting married, are married, or are having kids, so I think she’s just expressing her own feelings about this stage of life. But they still make me uncomfortable.

Part of it is because I never felt celebrated by her or our friend group when I was single and achieving things on my own. So seeing repeated posts that seem to contrast single life with marriage/family life feels hurtful, especially as I’m entering this new chapter. I completely agree that single women’s accomplishments deserve to be celebrated. I just want the people involved in my wedding ceremony to be people who I feel are genuinely rooting for my relationship and excited for me.

I don’t think she means to hurt me, and if I brought it up, I think she would probably say the posts aren’t about me (which I believe) or that I’m reading too much into them.

Am I being too sensitive by letting TikTok reposts affect how I feel about having her sing at my wedding? Or is it fair to want someone involved in such an important moment to feel like they support and celebrate my marriage?

Signed,
A swirly bride to be

Looking for a good breeder in the SE, USA! Must have medial history of puppies, genetic testing, etc.!

I want to say first and foremost this is no slander against Aubrey. I think that she is a very precious human in a non-parasocialway!

I would be FUMING if my BEST friend made a baby list branded post days before I announced my pregnancy. I was 90% certain Aubrey was pregnant after that post. Then BAM! She basically announced that Aubrey was pregnant before she ever posted. I do think that Victoria is happy for Aubrey, I really do. I find it hard to believe that this post wasn’t calculated in any capacity and a genuine, true friend would not do that? Maybe I’m wrong though?

Our wedding venue includes an on-site event planner at no additional cost, which was a big plus when we booked because I did not have the budget to get a professional wedding planner. However, communication has been a challenge. I’m less than a year out and trying to get as much done as possible before I return to work in the fall, but there are several things I can’t move forward with without answers from the venue. Over the past two months, I’ve reached out multiple times about bringing my florist in, menu/dietary questions, alcohol, and other details. I’ve only received a few responses, and they often don’t fully answer my questions, leading to more follow-ups. At what point is it appropriate to reach out to management? I’ve been working with the event planner, not the general manager, and I don’t want to go over anyone’s head unnecessarily. I’m just unsure when it’s reasonable to involve someone else when communication is holding up the planning process. Has anyone else been in this situation?

We’re looking for recommendations on how to word our alcohol policy for our wedding website. Our celebration will feature beer and wine only, along with a hosted, limited open bar with a set alcohol budget. This felt like a comfortable and manageable option that works well for us as a couple. We’d really appreciate wording suggestions, and kindly ask that feedback focus on phrasing rather than personal preference.

Separately, if you’ve hosted a beer and wine–only open bar, I’d love to hear what your total cost was. We’re aiming to stay under $4K for about 180 invited guests, with an expected turnout of around 150.

How can I do florals for just the reception + bridal party?

We’re skipping florals at the ceremony since everything will be removed immediately after. I only need flowers for the reception and wedding party:

• 8 bridesmaid bouquets
• 1 bridal bouquet
• ~10 corsages
• ~9–12 boutonnieres
• greenery for rectangle tables
• plus I was thinking of reusing the bridal/bridesmaid bouquets as centerpieces for round/square tables and supplementing as needed

For centerpieces, the exact number is still TBD, but I’m planning a minimum of 8 since I have 8 bridesmaids and want to keep things consistent across tables.

Is it realistic to keep this under $3K using places like Costco / Trader Joe’s / Sam’s Club?

Also—if I go the DIY route, what’s the timeline like? How many days before the wedding should I start buying/assembling everything without it turning into chaos the day before?

I’m an only child, and I’m having a hard time bringing up to my dad I want him and my mom to walk me down the aisle. My mom is afraid his feelings will be hurt, and I think she secretly wants to walk down with me as well. I would love to have both my parents walk down with me because it’s always been the 3 of us. We didn’t live near family, my mom doesn’t have siblings, and we always did our own thing. I think my parents walking me down is beautiful because we are walking towards my fiancé, who will then be in our family to make 4.

If you are an only child, what did you do? I don’t want my dad‘s feelings to be hurt, but what other ways could I incorporate the ceremony to include my mom? I’m planning on dedicating my bouquet to my cousins (MOH + bridesmaid) in honor of my aunt/ their mom (my only aunt) who is sick and doesn’t have the best prognosis to be there for my day. So, the bouquet isn’t going to my mom.

Any suggestions or ceremony advice???

Likely, I need to touch grass, but I am annoyed with my coworker, a special education teacher, now referring to themselves as a “practitioner” in IEPs, paperwork, and around the school. A practitioner of what???? Is my annoyance understandable? Especially, when I am a fcking speech teacher.

Are any SLP‘s in this group a dyslexia specialist? I’m really wanting to pivot in that area, but don’t really know where to begin. I would love to see kids privately, but again, don’t know where to begin!

Yesterday, I had an IEP meeting for a student and their parent asked about ABA. I said in the meeting, I did not recommend ABA and what I see behaviorally out of the child is not what ABA would address. A lot of the concerns of parent described were more mental health based (such as depression and anxiety). I didn’t go into the nuances of ABA and said it has a time in a place. I guess I offended the people on my team. Aside from my personal opinion as an SLP, I don’t think a quirky 12 year old needs 30 hours of ABA a week. Am I in the wrong? I don’t care to be wrong, but I think parents don’t understand the complexities of what ABA is and how it’s being executed.