I’m still bitter
*trigger warning pregnancy after tfmr* *big emotions*
Hi everyone. Hope you all are doing well. I wanted to ask for advice or support as I am slightly frustrated and not sure if I’m being over dramatic or what I should do..
I had a tfmr in august last year at the same time my sister in law was pregnant. She had her baby and mine is in an urn. I think that’s where my saltiness comes from. My man told her before she conceived that we have been trying and it was taking longer.
Then she announced she was pregnant. I got pregnant shortly after and had to tfmr.
Then she invited us to her baby shower. Now I don’t understand why people invite mothers who lost a baby that month to a baby shower, but I reached out and told her we are not coming because I am still an emotional wreck. The only thing she said was “ok hope you feel better.”
On top of that during my loss, I felt very unsupported and like they did not care.
But when she had her baby, every single person in his family was asking about her, making sure she was okay and honestly that hurt me, because it just solidified my thoughts that they don’t care. I asked my man to not tell me anything about her or her pregnancy or her baby. I didn’t want to see them or hear about it. I want to see my baby, not hers.
We are not close at all and I’ve never felt she actually liked me, just tolerated me. I have not spoken with her or really anyone in his family except those two times.
Also I fell pregnant around the time her baby was born. And I’m now 25 weeks pregnant after my loss(which I know you all know comes with a lot of emotions), with a baby boy that just passed his anatomy scan and things are starting to feel more real and I’m getting less anxious now that I’m getting further along.* knock on wood* hoping to actually take this baby home. 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽
Now she is wanting to visit for my living child’s birthday party on short notice with her baby.
And I honestly don’t want her to come. I don’t want them to ask to use my baby’s things I’ve gotten so far, I don’t want to see them at all. I don’t know what to feel other than betrayed and I just don’t want to see her baby before I see my own baby.
Idk if that sounds selfish or ridiculous but that’s how I feel.
Can anyone relate or give advice?