DPDR/ Anxiety flare up after years of not having an issue
34yrs old female, I’m currently dealing with an anxiety/dpdr flare up. The past 7 months have been hell for me and it’s truly wild how my life has become a hot mess. I have dealt with:
- Severe teeth pain everyday for three months and had multiple dental procedures done
- Started a new job in last August (2025), by October (two months later) I started having panic attacks at work as my boss is chaotic, non-communicative, has horrible time management skills, and promised me a lot of things concerning my role like becoming full time and she ultimately lied. I later find out she has ADHD and refuses to take meds for it and get help
- By December my family tells me they are struggling financially and don’t want to celebrate any holidays. I end up giving half my money that I make to them to help out
- On Christmas Day my car brakes down completely. I am too poor to fix it. The next two months I have to use rental cars and Lyfts to make it to work.
- February (2026) my family is able to get a new car. I also start to have extreme family issues
- Also in February my mother injures her hip and can’t walk for two months. I take on everything for her and do all of her errands, make her meals, help her to doctor appointments, etc.
- In March my boss tells me she has to lay me off. Days later she tells me never mind I want to keep you so I’ll just reduce your hours. I tried to get partial unemployment but the office said I still make too much. I barely make anything to survive. I only have a roof over my head because I live with my mother
- my father and I’s relationship starts to get worse and his moods/mental health is not the best.
- Due to my reduced hours I am not able to pay my credit cards and now I’m in debt. I also am not able to go on EBT due to not working 20 hours a week. Next month I will be using food banks.
- in April the studio I work at closed down as my boss can’t afford it anymore, she says we’ll work in her home office and that she’ll raise my hours starting in May. Desperate for any money I say ok. I had been looking for a new job for months and havent found one yet.
- Now it’s May, I have not been called into work at her house. I was able to do some remote work but that’s all done now. I have messaged her multiple times and she would say she still needs time to get her studio ready for me. Last week she tells me her dishwasher and water heater broke so her floors are flooded and she’ll be in a hotel while they have ppl work on it. I am crushed as I have been with no work, therefore not getting paid, and I still don’t have any concrete timeline on when I would be called back
- My father and I’s relationship is horrible now, we use to be very close, but now we don’t talk and avoid each other after few horrible arguments.
As of now (we’re still in May lol) the only things that have gotten better is my family and I have a car and my mother’s hip is doing tons better, she is getting stronger and is able to walk and do her own errands and she continues to help me financially.
But my anxiety has risen and the DPDR symptoms have been coming back. I am able to push it down eventually, but it’s stressful and uncomfortable to be dealing with this again, especially since I put in so much work in my past to be able to get over it and not have it affect me. I have been forcing myself to go outside everyday since that’s when it’s at its worse and I am working hard for it not to get worse.
I just feel like a failure. I am so stressed, disappointed, and anxious. I can’t believe at 34 I am still dealing with family problems and job/financial issues, and now heightened anxiety. I am too embarrassed as all of my friends have husbands/boyfriends, good jobs, money, their own place, and anxiety doesnt seem to affect them.
I am currently in therapy and I have been in ocd therapy for the past two years for my severe OCD and I have been doing well managing it to the point it’s not my number issue any more. I suffered for 13 years and rarely do compulsions and get upset over intrusive thoughts, and I did that without any medication. I thought I would be able to enjoy life now being more mentally healthier, but my life has gotten worse. The funny thing is I haven’t dealt with any OCD flare ups through all this stress.
Any advice would be great appreciated!