u/prmdsmom19

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/s/PGeM6vLUnn

I read a lot of the comments, and decided on asking what the doctor's wife thought about all this because if she wasnt bothered maybe we should take that into account too.

I didnt want to ask my daughter because i knew it would just start another fight. i ended up remembering the hospital had posted pictures from one of their charity events a while back where employees brought their families. i found the doctor's wife's name from that and after a little searching found a phone number connected to their family business.

I know some people are probably going to think that was weird but i wasnt calling to accuse anybody of anything. i just wanted another perspective before this got any worse at home. she was honestly incredibly nice.

She knew exactly who my daughter was right away and didnt sound surprised i was calling. she actually said she understood why my husband was uncomfortable because from the outside she could see why people might question it.

She spent a long time reassuring me there was absolutely nothing romantic going on between my daughter and her husband. she said he has always looked at my daughter almost like a younger sister because she reminds him so much of his actual sister that he hasnt spoken to in years. apparently they have a lot of the same personality, and sense of humor.

She also told me she likes my daughter a lot herself. she said every time they have met she has come away thinking she is one of the sweetest people she knows. apparently at the hospital my daughter spent most of the afternoon keeping one of the patients little boys entertained because he was overwhelmed and wouldnt leave her side and the wife thought it was incredibly kind of her once she heard of it. she said things like that are why both of them have gotten attached to her and why they both look out for her.

She even joked that if my daughter hadnt already been on her way to my moms house when the car broke down then they probably would have stolen her for the day themselves, gotten her something to eat, made sure somebody looked at the car and sent her home later because thats just what they like doing for her.

She also said she wasnt bothered if my daughter happened to have a little crush on her husband because she trusts him completely and knows he would never encourage something like that or betray their marriage.

After thinking about it i asked if the doctor and his wife would want to come over for dinner one night and they both agreed.

Dinner actually went really well. The doctor mostly talked with my daughter about work while my husband ended up talking to him about stuff like fantasy football and music for a good part of the evening. his wife was very easy to talk to and she fit right in.

My husband admitted afterward that seeing them together helped. he still wishes our daughter had called family first when her car broke down instead of her boss and i agree with him on that part. our daughter even admitted she probably should have called us first now.

So things are definitely calmer now. my husband still isnt completely comfortable with how close they are, but he isnt convinced anymore that something inappropriate is happening. Im just glad everyone is talking again instead of arguing every night.

Me and my husband are not agreeing on this so im posting here cause its been kind of tense at home.  Our daughter is 19, she still lives with us while going to school and working at a hospital in the er as a medical assistant. she wants to go to med school so this job is a big deal for her and we were happy she got it.

The issue is one of the doctors she works with
he's married, has kids, older guy, been in practice a while. she talks about him a lot, just work stuff with funny stories and the things he taught her but it became pretty frequent over time. my husband started noticing it before i really did.

Then recently her car broke down while she was driving to my mom's house. instead of calling us or roadside help or even her uncle who lives close, she texted this guy from work.

He came out to her, checked the car, made sure she was safe and then ended up taking her to her grandmothers when the car wouldnt start again.  he even got her fast food despite already having food from my mom

My husband got really upset when we found that out. not because of the help part, obviously we are glad she wasnt stuck on the road, but because she didnt call anyone in her actual family first. we are literally right here, she lives at home, we could have been there fast, my husband knows cars and would have gone immediately.

When we asked her about it she kept saying it wasnt a big deal and he was just someone she works with and that we were making it weird
my husband then asked her directly if she has feelings for him and she said no, keeps saying no, says she just respects him as a doctor and thats it.

But at the same time she is very familiar with him in a way that doesnt feel casual. she knows many small but personal things about him, talks about his kids like she knows them, and is very comfortable with him in general from we what we seen and how she talks about him, and then in this situation she went to him first

My husband is honestly pretty mad now, more than me, because he thinks she is not being honest with herself and is crossing lines she doesnt see yet. he also feels like a married man shouldnt be inserting himself like that with a young coworker even if he thinks he is just helping.

i tried to calm things down but now every conversation turns into an argument because she insists there is nothing going on at all and that we are reading too much into normal behavior.  Everything is just kind of off now and my husband is still stuck on it, keeps saying she is not thinking clearly about the situation and it is not as harmless as she believes, and doesnt want our daughter as a homewrecker.