u/pupslob

sou extremamente leiga nessa assunto de perfumaria mas também sou apaixonada no cheiro doce enjoativo de baunilha que a gente acha em sprays de ambiente que vc acha em shopping ou aquele desodorante laranja de vacila da herbissimo (sim, essa é minha referência me desculpem), porém sempre que vou tentar comprar um perfume de baunilha o cheiro tende a ser bem menos açucarado do que as que ando procurando.

antes de ir atrás de perfumes de baunilha eu já me decepcionei muito indo atrás de perfumes que tivessem cheiro de colônia de bebê (especificamente com cheiro similar daquela marca que o nome é realmente cheirinho de bebê). era um cheiro que queria muito exatamente por ser nostálgico e confortável para mim, mas parece ser impossível de achar um desses então passei a procurar um de baunilha por ter assumido ser mais comum e fácil de encontrar, porém mesmo assim não acho um que atenda às expectativas 🥲

alguém tem recomendações de perfumes gourmand extremamente simples e doces que tenham um cheiro forte característico/artificial de baunilha? pode ser algo mais infantil, não sou sofisticada nem nada, se conseguir grudar por um tempo razoável na pele seria legal também. grata! 🙏🙏

(born female - 20yo) gonna give y'all an overview of my transition and story to see if anyone has any insight on what is going on bcs I am awfully confused

okay so when i first came out as trans i came out as nonbinary, I was super young, maybe 11 or 12 (or younger) and had a huge history of hating myself and hating my appearance due to multiple factors like bullying and all.

during this time I was in a very toxic friend group that would refuse to call me by the names I picked and would say that I was pretending to be trans, the bullying got really bad and eventually one of the kids in the group told me I was a dude bcs I used he/him pronouns so I accepted it, idk why tbh I think I just wanted them to accept me, Ive been going on in life like a trans man ever since.

while growing up (talking about the time I was a minor) I only had a few months as hyper masc bcs I was following Kevin garrah. it lasted very very little and after the phase was over I went straight back into femininity. even then I felt obligated to go under hormones although I had doubts just to prove to others and myself that I was truly FTM. I would repress any doubts or my wants to keep my face and body feminine and I would force myself to want a beard and hair and bottom growth etc etc, the only thing I was certain of was that I hated my breasts plus I do feel more comfortable in he/him pronouns and the name I got.

you can imagine that now that I did went into T I regret it. I tried adapting by becoming hyper masc again (18-first months in my 20) so I would feel more comfortable with my appearance but it just made me feel like I can't come back to femininity. I did cut my T cold turkey and now I'm more fem again but I am super upset about the permanent changes. and after all this I still don't see myself as CIS???? and I feel so fucking guilty and ashamed anyways for making such a big deal out of nothing.

I also got the mastectomy which I thought was the only thing I truly wanted but now I regret that I had it instead of just getting the breast reduction surgery like my godmother suggested for me to do first before deciding on the full surgery, now I see that just getting myself A cups instead of removing everything would've made me happier. I am still ashamed to remove my top even if I do feel more comfortable in clothes than when I have massive tits that hurt my back and gave me body dysmorphia.

it's really frustrating because I feel dumb and uncertain if this is just a weird phase or not, my family accepted me as a dude not as a nb person, my friends have known me as a guy for ages, and honestly when I was the most masc i did look in the mirror as seen myself as a handsome guy even if I feel like I was more attracted than actually satisfied with that appearance I had ON me (i know this sounds weird). I don't even know if I really want to fully detransition or not bcs I don't see myself as a woman I just wish I was fem and made wiser decisions when younger. I am back at wearing dresses and skirts after so many years but I feel so awkward around my family and friends while wearing them even if I did let it clear since always that I still enjoyed those despite not wearing them at the time. my family especially looks weird at me when I'm in them yet won't say anything.

I looked back at an old video of mine this week and heard what I used to sound like when I hated that voice but now I kinda want that voice back even if it's not something that actually bothers me... I don't really know whats going on bcs I don't know if Im actually detrans or not, idk if this is somehow a phase? or if I transitioned to escape misogyny and become more accepted maybe? I honestly don't even feel like I'll ever be able to find someone who wants me in the body I have now.

I mean even my online friends and mutuals know me as a gay guy, I feel like I have multiple characters for each group to keep up the FTM act and it's tiring :(

sorry for the long text, I am just confused and honestly embarrassed with myself, this might be more of a vent but I need to know if y'all think I'm being too dramatic and taking things too far way too fast or not, I'm scared Im feeling this way bcs it's easier to not transition but I also feel like I actually have reasons to belive I was wrong about my identity