u/purple_unicorn576

Firstly, I’m so sorry for anyone that’s here, it’s not a club any of us wanted to be in. I’m 1.5weeks post TFMR and still finding it hard to process what’s happened. I’m lucky to be surrounded by a supportive husband, family and friends, but can they ever really understand what we’re going through?
I thought it might be cathartic to share on here the really hard bits that we don’t tell anyone about. That go beyond the standard “are you still bleeding” conversation.

For me it’s…

…being able to go to sleep on my stomach again.
…all my antenatal apps being cancelled and then deleting them out of my calendar.
…my boobs getting smaller.
…stopping taking pregnancy vitamins and going back to my normal ones.
…my super human sense of smell disappearing.
…and most of all it’s the vision of my baby boy toddling down the garden holding my daughter’s hand.

We’ve unfortunately had a T21 pregnancy that was conceived naturally, I am 39. Our daughter was IVF 3 years ago and we still have 4 embryos frozen, 1 of them is an 5AA. So I was 36 when the embryos were created.
Does anyone know if our chances of a chromosome
abnormality might be lower if we go down the IVF route with our 5AA embryo? We cannot have the embryos tested now as they are already frozen.

Any experience or info in this would be helpful. I plan to reach out to clinic when I feel ready.

We’re facing the terrible decision to TFMR due to T21 diagnosis at 14 weeks. We’ve weighed it up and as painful as it is we cannot go through with a T21 pregnancy, mainly for our daughters sake as we are older parents and we’d be signing her up for a life as a carer once we’re gone.

The decision will need to be made in the next week and I just keep having dark thoughts that I hope we attend a scan and there’s no heartbeat. That he passes peacefully on his own so we don’t have to make this conscious decision. I then feel absolutely awful as this baby is very wanted and loved.

Did anyone feel this when they were at this decision making stage? I feel so bad even writing it down.