u/purplelicious

It's Sunday so that means Confession time.

If you want atonement or maybe you crave penance (we know about your humiliation kink!) now is your chance to let the rest of us know what devious shit you've been up to when you thought no one in RCJ was looking.

Are you a Xaden shipper? Do you participate enthusiastically on a romance sub with the label "nontoxic"?

Maybe you swore you'd never read a certain book and somehow found yourself on book 6 and loving it, even though part of you knows this is terrible.

Whatever sins you committed this week now is your chance to let it all out and ask for forgiveness.

Did you DNF a terrible book but still want to find out what happened?

For example I couldn't get past chapter 5 in Onyx Storm but I wanted to know how stupid it got, so I got the best snark reviewer I know who broke down the full book for me. Now I'm ready to rage read book 4 when it comes out. FOMO y'all.

So, here is how it works

if you want something spoiled make a request in the comments. Then anyone can answer and maybe make it up or tell the truth it doesn't matter just make it funny.

finally all spoilers MUST have spoiler tags. we are not monsters.

(for those that don't know: > ! text ! < but no spaces)

&#x200B;

What are your recent DNFs this week? The mind-numbingly boring, rage inducing, brain cell rotting, purple prose mangling of the English language that had you throwing that book across the room. (Figuratively, if you are using an electronic device of course. )

bonus marks for actual pics of desecrated books. Give the #booktok girlies a heart attack for treating a copy of Manalchemized like the hot pile of garbage it is. (I don't own a copy, but I swear if I did...)

What did you just read that blew your mind. Plot holes. Terrible world building. Cringe worthy dialogue. Rules: be specific, screen shots or examples. Not just the usual "the writing was bad"

People have asked why we do this every week in a sub dedicated to snark.

Because you sloopies asked for it. It seems we can't stop reading this stuff. But also, it's to answer back "well, if you hate 4th Wing/ ACOTAR/ Spork/ Alchemized so much, why are you here?"

What did you love this week in Romantasy?

Recommendations, swoonworthy romances, actually witty banter, you have full bragging rights and humble brag privileges. 

&#x200B;

What did you struggle with this weekend? Did you force yourself to read through that last 15% just to finish that book? Did you have to read through 60 posts of what do I read after ACOTAR? Did someone ruin your enjoyment of slutty fairy porn with their stupid opinion?

It's Sunday so that means Confession time.

If you want atonement or maybe you crave penance (we know about your humiliation kink!) now is your chance to let the rest of us know what devious shit you've been up to when you thought no one in RCJ was looking.

Are you a Xaden shipper? Do you participate enthusiastically on a romance sub with the label "nontoxic"?

Maybe you swore you'd never read a certain book and somehow found yourself on book 6 and loving it, even though part of you knows this is terrible.

Whatever sins you committed this week now is your chance to let it all out and ask for forgiveness.

&#x200B;

Did you DNF a terrible book but still want to find out what happened?

For example I couldn't get past chapter 5 in Onyx Storm but I wanted to know how stupid it got, so I got the best snark reviewer I know who broke down the full book for me. Now I'm ready to rage read book 4 when it comes out. FOMO y'all.

So, here is how it works

if you want something spoiled make a request in the comments. Then anyone can answer and maybe make it up or tell the truth it doesn't matter just make it funny.

finally all spoilers MUST have spoiler tags. we are not monsters.

(for those that don't know: > ! text ! < but no spaces)

&#x200B;

What are your recent DNFs this week? The mind-numbingly boring, rage inducing, brain cell rotting, purple prose mangling of the English language that had you throwing that book across the room. (Figuratively, if you are using an electronic device of course. )

bonus marks for actual pics of desecrated books. Give the #booktok girlies a heart attack for treating a copy of Manalchemized like the hot pile of garbage it is. (I don't own a copy, but I swear if I did...)

&#x200B;

People have asked why we do this every week in a sub dedicated to snark.

Because you sloopies asked for it. It seems we can't stop reading this stuff. But also, it's to answer back "well, if you hate 4th Wing/ ACOTAR/ Spork/ Alchemized so much, why are you here?"

What did you love this week in Romantasy?

Recommendations, swoonworthy romances, actually witty banter, you have full bragging rights and humble brag privileges. 

What did you struggle with this weekend? Did you force yourself to read through that last 15% just to finish that book? Did you have to read through 60 posts of what do I read after ACOTAR? Did someone ruin your enjoyment of slutty fairy porn with their stupid opinion?

Some people read fan fiction. I read weird shifter books. Judge all you like, but the books get it all done in under 300 pages. No wasting time on "slow burn" romance or trauma flashbacks. No need to explain magic when it's all "people who change shape". We know what animals do, no need to explain what a "wolf" or "bear" is, and no need to explain personality types when we already know the difference between an Alpha and a Beta.

I'm a sucker for fated mates so I'm happy to skip all this 'get to know someone before you fall in love with them' blah blah blah, lets get to the sex part. All that's needed is a schtick - maybe it's cheese shifters,{why cheese by Ellen Mint} or a gay dinosaur hockey player {Dino Scores by Lola Faust} or, in this case, shifter toddlers. {Dragon's Instinct by Elva Birch}.

This is book two of at least a 3 book series, where either the FMC or MMC is a single parent trying to make things work in Nickel City, Montana. Shifters are not well known, so I guess they stick to more remote locations, like Montana or Alaska, or maybe it's easier to explain the sudden appearance of a baby bear in the local supermarket than say the Trader Joe's in Queens. Not that something like that happens in this book, for reasons the shifter community can remain a secret from the rest of the world. We also learn that children start shifting at about a year, but they have to learn how to control it, so they are always shifting into their various forms. And their forms are not at all place specific. Sure there are wolves and bears in Montana, but as one parents explains "I just thought he really liked baths and then *poof* he's a penguin". Yup, we have wolves, bears, owls, armadillos, penguins, squirrels, dogs and a kirin (a Japanese unicorn, that comes up in book 3). Shifting is hereditary, but I guess not always, but maybe it skips a generation, but only one parent actually needs to be a shifter. I'm not sure why the penguin mom was surprised as apparently she is not a shifter and they don't say if dad was a penguin, or maybe it skips a generation. But also, there are dragons and dragons pick their humans, and the humans are usually already an adult, so it's not like they are born a shifter. something about dragons living long lives, so they go from human to human, don't question this, just accept it otherwise you'll have more questions later on.

We don't have time for questions. That's for your lengthy fan fiction. After all "brevity is the soul of wit". Not that this book is particularly witty, but it is brief. ;

So, our FMC Olivia has moved to Montana from Florida for a fresh start, after her heart has been broken. She has taken on a year contract as a middle school science teacher. She moves in to a boring overpriced rental with her cat and while looking over the overgrown back garden, her cat has cornered a baby squirrel. She rescues the baby squirrel to keep her cat away from harassing it and then sees her hot next door neighbour, Ian, calling out for his daughter, who he can't find anywhere. Weirdly he is looking under buckets and behind garden ornaments. Is he an idiot? even a toddler wouldn't fit behind there. She chats with him, introduces herself and says she'll keep an eye out for his 2 year old. Upon walking back into her house *poof* she now has a naked toddler in the box where the squirrel was. And that's how Olivia learns about shifters.

Little Lucy is a squirrel shifter, which should be an issue with a big orange cat, but it's not because the cat loves little Lucy. Meanwhile Olivia and Ian, Lucy's dad, single and a writer, can't stop making googly eyes at each other. Ian has a deadline to meet and Lucy's mom is in a new relationship and is happy to leave Lucy with Ian most of the time because "he works from home", At this point any parent of a small child is furious at the idea that any work can be done with a two year old underfoot. Especially one that shifts into a squirrel every time they get emotional. Have you met any toddlers? they are walking emoticons. Everything is big feelings. Also, her mom is problematic and we know this because mom's name is Wanda and that's a terrible name, so obviously a terrible person.

Anyways, Ian decides that he needs to send Lucy to "Little Paws" daycare, a daycare that specializes in shifter children and helps them adjust to shifting appropriately while also learning to socialize, potty train and learn fine motor skills through play And he suggests that Olivia that she should go work for them as a way to make a few extra bucks to cover her expenses before the school year starts. She decides to give it try, mostly because Ian is sexy and hot. Whatever. Olivia's POV with the babies in shifter day care is the best.. ok, the ONLY reason to read this book. Babies and Preschoolers are cute and funny and the author understands how the youngest crowd interacts with adults and each other. Like kids who need an adult in the toilet with them for 'emotional support' but refuse any help.

If you hate children you probably shouldn't read this book. If you are a parent, or parent adjacent (aunts, uncles, siblings, teachers) you will likely find some adorable interactions or just relate to similar toddler meltdowns. For the most part the kids in the book are realistic in their interactions, beyond just being "cute" with a speech impediment. There is one scene where Ian is trying to get an overtired toddler into bed and every method he's tried has just added to her emotional state until she descends into a total meltdown, Even though it's been 15 yrs or so for me, I still remember those days viscerally. But also, my kid used to refer to her daycare buddies as her "fLiends". So the memory of her fLiends makes up for hard times.

The only exception to the delightful parade of littles is Lucy, the toddler that is supposed to be so scrunchy cute that brings our FMC and MMC together. OK, it's actually the fated mates/ insta lust part, but the baby is supposed to make our FMC's ovaries flip over. Lucy is just kind of annoying without a personality. Maybe it's because she's a squirrel, she just sort of runs around and repeats everything that is said to her and is obsessed with Olivia's cat. Maybe we are just being prepared for Dragon's Instinct part two, when Lucy becomes a squirrel shifter small town PI whose personality is "cat" and "book". Maybe I'm just disappointed that when we have owl and armadillo and freaking PENGUIN shifters, she's an annoying squirrel. Of course, it's because her mother Wanda is from a large family of squirrel shifters and Wanda, the ex, is really annoying and bossy.

See, Wanda walked all over Ian when they were married, calling his dragon inferior to her squirrel genes and basically spends a lot of time emasculating Ian. So, we get to our big crisis, as Ian hasn't told Olivia what he shifts into because he is afraid of being judged, so it all backfires and then she thinks that he is not being honest and words are said and tears are shed I suppose this is a spoiler but fuck it, if you didn't think there would be a stupid misunderstanding trope in this book, you don't deserve to read this. Luckily, we spent a lot of previous pages of the book on toddler drama and a hot weekend away with a lot of sex, so we don't have to spend more than a few pages on this crisis plot point before Ian rescues Olivia, fesses up and stops being such a wet blanket.

The last bit of the book is dedicated to Lucy's 2 year birthday, so more toddler mayhem, which is much more fun than dragon rescue/ self discovery business. I've actually left out some of the plotline just to make it mysterious, but no worries, in the end everyone lives happily ever after.

Should you read this? probably not, but there are worse books and the baby shifter and day care stuff is pretty cute and the FMC is not annoying and it's really short and doesn't spend a lot of time on boring things, like magic theory and slow burn romance and high stakes plot points. I think I gave it 3.25 stars, for being above average for what it is. You can't be MAD about it.

&#x200B;

It's Sunday so that means Confession time

&#x200B;

If you want atonement or maybe you crave penance (we know about your humiliation kink!) now is your chance to let the rest of us know what devious shit you've been up to when you thought no one in RCJ was looking.

&#x200B;

Are you a Xaden shipper? Do you participate enthusiastically on a romance sub with the label "nontoxic"?

&#x200B;

Maybe you swore you'd never read a certain book and somehow found yourself on book 6 and loving it, even though part of you knows this is terrible.

&#x200B;

Whatever sins you committed this week now is your chance to let it all out and ask for forgiveness.

&#x200B;

What are your recent DNFs this week? The mind-numbingly boring, rage inducing, brain cell rotting, purple prose mangling of the English language that had you throwing that book across the room. (Figuratively, if you are using an electronic device of course. )

&#x200B;

bonus marks for actual pics of desecrated books. Give the #booktok girlies a heart attack for treating a copy of Manalchemized like the hot pile of garbage it is. (I don't own a copy, but I swear if I did...)

my WTAF moment is watching Messi play last night. I"m not even big on the football. But seriously.

&#x200B;

What did you just read that blew your mind. Plot holes. Terrible world building. Cringe worthy dialogue. Rules: be specific, screen shots or examples. Not just the usual "the writing was bad"

People have asked why we do this every week in a sub dedicated to snark.

&#x200B;

Because you sloopies asked for it. It seems we can't stop reading this stuff. But also, it's to answer back "well, if you hate 4th Wing/ ACOTAR/ Spork/ Alchemized so much, why are you here?"

&#x200B;

What did you love this week in Romantasy?

&#x200B;

Recommendations, swoonworthy romances, actually witty banter, you have full bragging rights and humble brag privileges. 

&#x200B;

What did you struggle with this weekend? Did you force yourself to read through that last 15% just to finish that book? Did you have to read through 60 posts of what do I read after ACOTAR? Did someone ruin your enjoyment of slutty fairy porn with their stupid opinion?