to my fellow libras,
over the past year i lost a family and a ten year relationship with the mother of my child. now my kid lives two states away i miss him everyday. she abandoned me as i unpacked trauma in my healing journey. i have no hatred or animosity towards her. my goal was to get back to myself and never let anyone look at me like a mad king again. within a years time i have lost so much weight included baggage from another person. i am on the journey to the best shape in my life. i’m have an album coming out this tuesday. i produced recorded wrote and engineered it all by myself. i will also have a bachelor’s degree in two weeks. i came such long way and have to celebrate myself alone. i have been used and disrespected by so many. as i step into a new career and establish myself as the artist im meant to be. i refuse to be broken.
last year on my bday i spent the day crying and doing pushups while writing songs. then i didn’t have the studio set up that i have now. within months after that i had my set up. i kept going after every road block. recently i had a friend tell me my album would be a failure and i must work with him to have an impact. wrong thing to tell an artist. especially a libra. mind you the guy has about 60 songs of mine just sitting on his hard drive. i will wait on no one.
after 8 months of my kids mom debating whether she should move back with me and talking about what’s best for the child. she had her grandma buy her a condo. she dangled my son in front of like a carrot with the push and pull bs. now’s she’s saying how lonnely she is and misses our friendship. i remained in the same apartment she left with my kid from. i was born in the darkness, she merely adopted it. again i have no regrets or bad feelings toward her.
days before mother’s day my mom called to make sure i was giving her a gift. then mocked me as i expressed myself about my kids mom. not knowing she made me who i am. i am not the person to be mocking right now. i haven’t spoken to her since.
as i continue to deal with my hardships alone and in silence i will continue to strive. nothing can break me. all i care about is music and my kid.
i guess i wanted to share my experience with others who may have been going through some of the same shit. PEACE looks good on me. i find it weird the moment i start to put myself first and work on myself i receive so much unwanted critique from others. they don’t see what i see. i’ve outgrown all environments. i’m looking for a job in my field and i got more albums on the way. so to all my sisters, brothers, theys, thems, or others of the scale. keep fuckin pushing.
NOTHING WILL STOP US.