u/r1ftb0y

TRIGGER WARNING: feeding someone food they're allergic to without informing them of the allergen beforehand

additional warning: this is both a rant and me seeking advice on what to do. not currently having a reaction because i haven't ate it yet. (also sorry mods idk if i used the proper tags or not i'll gladly change at y'all's discretion)

so to preface, i am severely allergic to shrimp and get hives/itchy rashes even being around dishes that contain shrimp. whether it be shrimp chips, a bowl of freshly cooked shrimp, raw shrimp, shrimp dishes— if it's shrimp, i'll probably get a reaction from being in the proximity alone. everyone knows not to bring shrimp near or around me, ESPECIALLY my roommate as she's the one who surprisingly kept me alive my entire life.

i went downstairs tonight to check on the food as we had agreed that she'd make dinner for tonight: a dish called sinigang. sinigang is one of my favorite comfort foods, and she makes it taste really good, so i didn't think much of it throughout my entire life, especially since she'd feed it to me a lot when i was a kid.

well apparently, i go to check the tamarind soup mix pack she used for tonight's dinner, and lo and behold: bright and in bold letters— shrimp paste. packet even said in the little allergen tldr that it contains shrimp and milk.

so i confront her going, "WTF? this has shrimp in it, i can't eat it," and she goes, "you're only allergic to fresh shrimp, you've been eating sinigang your whole life and you've been fine." so i just found out she's been sneaking shrimp into my food without telling me NOR caring to ask.

additionally, might i also point out, i always eat this dish at night, Right Before i take my antihistamines prescribed for a different condition, so i might not have noticed before due to the antihistamine medication. think benadryl^10 kind of antihistamine.

ALSO, this isn't the first time she's exposed me to shrimp, and she continuously does not care to be careful with shrimp around me in the past. she often puts shrimp-filled meals in containers then plops it right next to my food in the fridge because "she was craving them and it won't hurt me being in the container." the only reason i haven't moved is because i am dirt poor and currently pursuing my degree at the moment.

the reason i'm "seeking advice" is that i'm 1) reconciling with the fact she's been micro dosing me my entire life,
2) currently questioning whether different types of shrimp presentations react differently/get processed to where some allergic people can eat it (like raw vs cooked, but i'm also allergic to cooked shrimp so idk),
and 3) questioning if the reason my gut issues have been flaring more severely in adulthood is because she often feeds me veggies from the sinigang she makes to put with my other meals. i already have a gut condition since birth, but i'm wondering if my gut issues getting worse in the first place could be caused by the unknown quantities of shrimp.

i know i should probably bring this up to an allergist as well, but i have complex medical issues so i figured i'd ask if altered food states can change the way allergies are triggered first before i'm able to get an appointment in.

not sure if i worded that well, but i'll for sure not be eating her sinigang anymore after tonight.

TLDR: my main question is that if shrimp paste is cooked, is it any different from normal shrimp in terms of reactions?