u/randomizedmoose

Looking for perspectives on daycare in this sub, coming from parents who are like minded in terms of being anti early separation of mother-baby, etc etc.

My 16 month old has started daycare and gone most days/mornings for two weeks. She apparently naps there fine. She is still sad a lot and cries between activity transitions.

But the thing I just can’t shake is the visual of me passing her off every morning and her screaming “mama” and reaching out for me, followed my me abruptly leaving.
I have been having the thought: how is this completely dissimilar from mom-baby separation at night? The caregivers keep reminding us that it will take “6-8 weeks for baby to adjust”. But all I hear is “they will learn to get over it/self soothe. It only takes ‘3 nights’” (i.e., sleep training rhetoric).

The daycare seems to be a good place and staff to baby ratios are okay. I desperately need the break and I come home to nap after drop-off. But I can’t help but feel like I’m doing the wrong thing and causing her significant distress. Help!

My 17-month old is a mouth breather and now booked in to get a tonsillectomy next month (and cauterization of the turbinates) in hopes that it helps improve her sleep-disordered breathing by giving her increased space for breathing through her nose. Has anyone gone through this and saw improvement? Her adenoids are small. The ENT said this might/might not help… it’s hard to say. From my understanding of the airway structures, it seems to be a reasonable hope that enlarged tonsils could be causing breathing difficulties and therefore removing them should give my daughter some relief and hope for proper mouth breathing. Thoughts? Similar stories?

That is all. It makes me angry. But I still do it.
Am I alone?

I'm hoping to hear from parents who have gone through an airway/ENT/sleep-disordered breathing journey with their toddler.

My 15-month-old has been an extremely restless sleeper for a long time. At night she's almost always mouth breathing and sounds congested, moves constantly, and occasionally does a light gasp. We don't see obvious long pauses in breathing or dramatic gasping/choking, though.

She wakes constantly throughout the night.

We've seen a pediatric ENT who found enlarged tonsils and somewhat enlarged adenoids (tonsils were more noticeable). We've tried Nasonex for ~6 weeks with basically no improvement, and the ENT has said tonsil removal may be the next step.

Has anyone else's toddler had sleep-disordered breathing that looked more like mouth breathing + congestion + constant movement/frequent waking rather than obvious apnea?

If you went through tonsil/adenoid surgery, did you get a sleep study first? Did surgery actually make a noticeable difference?

Thanks!

My 15-month-old daughter has had extremely restless nighttime sleep for a long time, and we are increasingly wondering whether an airway issue/sleep-disordered breathing could be the underlying cause.

I’d really love to hear from parents who have gone through something similar, particularly with an ENT and/or tonsil/adenoid surgery.
Her nighttime sleep looks like this:
- She is a chronic mouth breather at night and sounds congested almost constantly.
- She moves constantly in her sleep — rolling around, repositioning, etc.
- She occasionally does a light gasp, but we don't see obvious long pauses in breathing or dramatic gasping/choking episodes.

She wakes very frequently throughout the night.

We are seeing a pediatric ENT. He noted enlarged tonsils and somewhat enlarged adenoids (the tonsils were more noticeable). He initially recommended trying Nasonex because there seemed to be some general airway inflammation. She's now been using it for about 6 weeks with essentially no noticeable improvement.

The ENT has said that if the spray doesn't help, he thinks we may need to remove her tonsils.

I'd love to hear hearing from parents whose young kids had sleep-disordered breathing?

Did you get a sleep study before surgery? Did it change what your ENT recommended? And did tonsillectomy/adenoidectomy actually improve the sleep?

Thank you!

I’m not sure what I’m looking for here... Maybe solidarity as I feel I’m the only mom on the planet who still can’t figure out how to get her ONE YEAR OLD to calm down and feel relaxed enough at bedtime to fall asleep, without kicking, crying, screaming, and extreme motion.

I am traumatized by this experience of getting my baby girl to sleep, listening to her cry most nights and feeling that I am just not enough to soothe her, no matter what I do and despite months of research, money on sleep consultants, etc.

for context, I breastfeed and nurse her to sleep for naps with a good success rate but bedtime is a different story. i have been able to get her to sleep at bedtime via nursing maybe 30% of the nights in her life. The other times, she starts getting irritated (most recently pulling at her hair) and pushes off the breast and away from me and kicks her legs... then we end up bouncing on the stupid exercise ball. Usually there is immense crying while bouncing, but the crying is worse if we try rocking or holding/walking. She will seemingly be asleep while bouncing and then suddenly wakes and lets out a strained cry, repeat the process until my husband‘s back nearly breaks

Anyway, this doesn’t need to be so long. She has pretty typical wake windows and naps (two), although her night sleep is so terrible we usually don’t wake up until 8-9am and then her last nap is getting late (sometimes 5pm or 6…) and then bedtime at 9:30pm if it’s a late last nap.

My baby is just so incredibly unsettled at bedtime. It feels like her nervous system can’t relax and unwind despite our best efforts to go into the bedtime routine being as calm as possible and having a good sleep environment. We have also tried lots of silly time and big movement before bed as she’s a sensory seeker.

we don’t cosleep. I so desperately wish we could just lay down together and fall asleep. My husband and I sometimes bring her into bed and get cozy with her but there’s just no way she’s falling asleep like that.

Will that ever come? Did anyone ever end up cosleeping when baby was older - closer to toddler aged? Will she eventually grow out of this?

we dread the nights. it makes me so sad. is this any type of normal? or is something wrong?

note: we are seeing an ENT soon, she’s been on iron for months but going to check levels again soonish, been to chiro, naturopath, trying another osteo. I am really trying absolutely everything…