u/readyreal412

I had my pertussis, diphtheria and tetanus jab at the end of January. I was then booked in for my RSV vaccine at the end of April, but it looks like they gave me pertussis again instead. The surgery can’t confirm what I actually received, so I have no idea whether I’ve had RSV or not.

I’m now in my third trimester and trying to figure out whether to just go ahead and get RSV again on the assumption I didn’t have it, the doctors have said they can’t confirm really as what has been written down by the nurse is she’s given me pertussis twice. Even though I booked in for the rsv.

Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice? Feeling really frustrated that I’m having to make this call myself. Have called midwife but no response and she usually takes a few days to call back.

It’s looking most likely they think I got pertussis, diphtheria and tetanus twice.

My MIL is genuinely lovely and I have a great relationship with her. I just need a sanity check.

She lives 15 mins away and sees my brother-in-law’s family almost daily (they’re next door). Throughout my pregnancy I’ve seen her anywhere from twice a week to once every 3-4 weeks. I work a physical job, I’m nearly due, exhausted, and only have one full day off a week. She’s commented on not seeing us enough even when it’s only been a week or two, and sends long “hope to see you soon” texts when we’re away visiting my own family (who I’ve only managed to see 4 times the whole pregnancy).

She’s mentioned wanting to be at the hospital for the birth (to help with parking??), and that once my husband goes back to work she could come over most days or I could go to hers. Her love language is acts of service, sweet in theory, but in practice it means repeated unsolicited offers, telling me what I want or need, and genuine upset when I say no. She texts daily, sometimes multiple times. I’ve started taking a day or two to reply.

Ideally I’d love to see her once or twice a week after baby arrives. I don’t think that’s unreasonable? But she doesn’t really accept no, my husband’s answer is just to ignore it (easy for him), my BIL’s wife is already talking about weekly hangouts, my mum and sister are will come to visit, and I’m more anxious about never getting quiet time with my own baby than I am about the birth itself.
I like her. I don’t want to upset her. But how do I set expectations kindly and clearly before the baby arrives?