A PSA: You Really Should Look Closer at the People You Befriend Here (OR: How SS13 Ruined My Life™)
Potentially NSFW content below; mentions, no imagery.
I just got off of the couch after a morning-long migraine, and I've been thinking a lot recently about how Space Station 13 has interfaced with my life. Thought I might share the things that I've went through as more of a cautionary tale than anything else. I'll keep traumadumping to a minimum here, but I'm going to outright say exactly what happened where necessary. Names will be kept out of the post. Might devalue it to you, but I'm not here to smear or defame. Anyone worth naming and shaming has long since stopped playing SS13 or has moved to some secret server with 3 players or something. This is, as I just said, a cautionary tale; think with your topmost head when you're interacting with someone from an SS13 community, everyone. Now that I've gotten that out of the way...
SS13 ruined the beginning of my life, and a significant part of it is my fault.
I started playing SS13 when I was fourteen years old. I was a teenage girl in a community full of (and I still mean this endearingly, all things considered) real-life hermits. To this day, I still get a little queasy when people recognise me as a player rather than just the character, because it means they were getting buddy-buddy with me without knowing I was still four years away from eighteen.
The server I was playing on banned minors- my bad there, pretty obviously, and I don't think my own behavior justifies calling any of the administrators there any bad names- and ERP was strictly disallowed. People suspected to be children were banned after seeing their ticket conduct to confirm it. It was still a pretty flawed system. (I don't think main servers without ERP features should have to implement an ID check, but there should be a more visible disclaimer that you might be interacting with children despite the rules. It would've saved me a lot of trouble.) It was pretty much an open secret that the majority of the people openly interacting in their discord server at the time weren't eighteen- usually seventeen or sixteen instead. Still, I was two years younger than that.
For a time, I was pretty popular.
I was a kid with limited social skills, so I'd just make people free art. Folks loved it, even though- looking back on it- it's clearly not made by an adult. (Maybe a really stunted adult? That wasn't the excuse I used though, so I don't know.) People wanted to get to know me better, probably because I would provide them with free character art, and I didn't really care.
A lot of people, though, got way too personal with someone they barely knew. It was the notion of having a pussy, that's all it was. They realized that and stopped caring about the rest.
I've been subjected to plenty shit from members of the community who weren't even present on ERP servers at the time. Pictures of dildos on shower doors, propositions to enter localhosts running Skyrat code to just "try" ERPing (I made it clear I had never done it before, so it's not like I was inviting that), an endless list of kinks imposed onto a character I made when I was a child- you name it, it probably happened in some form to me. I was, at oldest, sixteen when these things were happening. I have since spoken to some of these people and explained my side of the story to them, and I've developed a deeper understanding of the factors that led me to where I got. Others have been quietly shunned by the communities I encountered them in. None of these bans or their handling were ever public. When I'd reach out to community leaders, it was treated as a dirty secret that wasn't necessary for anyone else to know. I guess SS13 drama really exasperated them and they didn't want to handle it publicly, but it's pretty sad to look at.
At one point, I was even led onto the actual Skyrat server. The "tell us your birthday and we'll trust you" model doesn't work. At the time, I strongly believe that several other players I encountered on the server were my age or less. I cannot prove this, I can only say that it happened to me and that it isn't out of the realm of possibility. I'd be surprised if I was the only one. I definitely wasn't the only one.
Case in point: Green Dahn- the only name I'll name here. She's been removed from every community she was part of. I barely remember the exact way it went, but I remember I was directly tied to it.
Green Dahn started a metafamily (literally) of characters that were "adopted" by her and another player. This culminated in a secret Discord server in which the players of said family would ERP. Green Dahn was also known for writing bad smut and making shitty pixel art for the library with titties out. This is a commonly-referenced "incident" in the /tg/station Manuel community.
The problem? Green Dahn was only ousted from the community after they admitted to being a minor.
I was part of the LI family, but not part of the metacord. I took the suffix off of my character's name as soon as I figured it out, but still, Jesus Christ.
In private, I've been told of a million more cases where ERPers and e-daters alike had to ditch a friend or partner because it came out they were seventeen or younger. It was kind of a nightmare looking back on it- they were admitting this to me, who also wasn't an adult at the time.
I feel like I've been prattling on for long enough. I'd rather not regale anyone with the more detailed, gross shit that happened, as that'd be more self-flagellating than anything. It gets to a point. My point is, you never know who around you is an adult.
A lot of the people you are playing with might be children.
Are you a pedophile with intent if someone you've ERPed with lied about their age? No. You thought they were a consenting adult, that's not your fault. You should, however, be more careful. You can't "trust me bro" in communities like these (especially if you're looking to e-date). I hold no malice toward these unnamed parties I had to interact with aside from a burning disappointment that things happened to me.
This is not a callout. This should not be viewed as one. There's no tasty drama to get out of this. It's just kind of sad, and you should use it as the cautionary tale that it is. You have to be careful, no matter where you're interacting, if you're getting sexual. The tailmawed furry bitch you're talking to might be a child. The FLBH femstatic you're talking to might be a child. Normal banter is fine, but once you're getting really down and dirty, you should make sure you know who you're actually talking to.
In some way, I feel guilty. I've gotten several people removed from communities for the things they've done to me, though I guess if it was bad enough for them to get removed when everyone was presuming I was an adult, it'd be considered even worse knowing it happened to a child.
Seriously, be careful who you're talking to. If you're ever in doubt, if a server doesn't have age vetting, anything, and you want to get sexual, find some way to double check. It makes me sick knowing that I'm nowhere near the only girl (now woman) this has happened to. It shouldn't happen. You're not a monster if you didn't know any better, but you should make sure you're not perpetuating it.
TL;DR: id check your ss13 hoes they might be kids
If this is ultimately deemed irrelevant, I've no qualms with this post being removed. I think it's important to foster a real discussion on things like this, though. This is something that has been happening in the SS13 community for years, and everyone just avoids talking about it until there's someone to rip apart for being LE HECKIN' PEDOFILE!! I dunno, there's gotta be more to say or think about regarding it. Thanks either way.