The Dude who abides beside us
Hey there, dudes. I've noticed that a good few of us have posted questions and general rambles over fictional Dudes, or historical Dudes on this here meeting of the minds over time, and felt like a slight change of pace might help centre us all a little.
That's why I thought it might do us all good to look a little closer to home.
I'd love to hear from you, my fellow Dudes and what have yous, about the Dudley people who have touched your lives personally. The folks who have guided you by example. Not in a preachy way, not through directions or edicts, but by just abiding there way through life.
For me, this was my grandfather. He worked as a coal miner, got vibration white finger and Parkinson's for his efforts, and retired at 50 when the pit was closed. That isn't who he was though, they were just things that happened to him. Who he was was somebody who never met a stranger. He could, and did, make friends with everyone who met him, because he gave them his time and genuinely took interest in everything they said or did. He showed up. He lived through times when the world around him got so uptight it looked to most like it might end, but he never let that get on top of him. He abides through it all.
He was a pacifist, and couldn't even bring himself to hunt an animal for food. He never pulled a gun on the proverbial lane, hardly even raised his voice, and had the strength and capacity to forgive even the most heinous shit others dumped on him. He always had a metric shit tonne of jokes to share. Was never afraid to cry from happiness or sorrow. And loved more freely and unashamedly than anyone I have ever known.
In his later years, he suffered greatly with his health, but never let it stop him from making others smile, and didn't bat an eye at being the butt of a joke himself. He'd just laugh along as loudly and as honestly as ever.
When he passed, he was on his feet in the arms of his wife of 60+ years. His final words were, "I've had a good night".
I remember feeling something break in me when I got the call that he'd died, begging my stepdad on the phone to take it back, and weeping uncontrollably for weeks after. At his funeral, though, that's when I saw the real power of the Dude he was. The chapel of rest wasn't big enough to fit all the mourners who came. They crowded outside the open doors, overflowed the pub at his wake, and nothing but peace and love encompassed all of it.
Without even trying my grandad, James "Jimmy bod" Marriott, touched the lives of so many, and always for the better. By putting himself last, and listening over speaking, he instinctively abided through his entire life.
He showed me the path I do my best to walk to this day. He was the truest Dude I have ever had the actual honour to know.
Now, I want to hear about the Dudes you guys know. Who in your lives abide? Maybe they aren't with you anymore. Maybe you only met them once. Maybe they abide in different ways. Whatever it is, I hope you all have at least one to tell us all about. And, if not, I'm quietly confident that in time you will.
Abide, my Dudes, abide,
Rev. Josh 😎