u/replyinginmyhead

I struggled planning our wedding feeling like an imposter because so much wedding inspiration featured slim, young brides and I am neither. I often felt like I was in space that wasn’t meant for me, and actually questioned if older, plus size women were even allowed to have something more than a simple, low-key wedding (which I recognize sounds crazy, but there is so very little representation!) In the end, I’m so glad we did it! I’m sharing all my looks, and just some photos from our day to hopefully allow other women like me to give themselves permission to have their dream wedding, regardless of size or age.

Wedding dress - Jenny Yoo Ezra
I wore the sleeves for the ceremony and took them off and added some statement earrings for our first dance and dinner

Reception dress - Helsie Vivi dress
Got the XL and while it didn’t zip, I was obsessed with the sparkle, so I had it altered into a corset back

Getting ready - Lace nap dress from Hill House

Welcome party - BHLDN

I also cannot express enough how valuable it is to choose a photographer who knows how to pose larger people! Ask potential photographers to see a gallery that is reflective of you and your fiance to see how they adapt posing based on body type.

We had the most perfect day back in March. I’m not nearly as BBB as most here, but we spent about 60k on 36 guests. Let me know if anyone wants a budget breakdown!

Edit:

Budget Breakdown

Venue - $5000
Included basically nothing, but we used almost every inch of their gardens for different parts of the wedding. We heavily leaned into what the garden already naturally offered, which I think really pulled the wedding together.

Planner - $4000
This was a screaming deal on a full service planner still new to the industry. I felt comfortable with less experience knowing our wedding was small and uncomplicated, and I had plenty of free time to be more hands on. She ended up being absolutely amazing!

Caterer and bar - $11000
We had passed apps, 3 ethnic stations, a roaming tiramisu hawker on the dance floor, and a cocktail bar with 7 specialty drinks they designed for us that all tied back to a funny story from dating. It was a great conversation starter for guests.

Florist - $5200
Included my bouquet, 2 small posies for my daughter, 2 bouts, ceremony ground arch (moved to cake table), flowers for 4 round and 1 long table, our escort card display, and misc arrangements for bar, cocktail tables, and welcome table. We did a la carte service rather than full service.

Rentals - $11500
Included tables, chairs, linens, lounge furniture, dance floor, bars, and cafe lights. We didn’t do any tabletop rentals and just used what the caterers provided.

Clothes and alterations - $8500
My dress, reception dress, veil, custom suit, custom earrings, shoes, suit and dresses for my kids and all alterations

Photographer - $7500
We opted for only 7 hours to save a little because we weren’t doing a grand exit. I’d rather have a great photographer for a little less time than an OK photographer there the entire time.

Invitations - $850
I used a company in Vietnam that custom designed our suite, including full letterpress, embossing, die cuts, etc. They also gave me the design files so I could DIY our day of paper.

STD and day of paper - $250
I learned how to diy letterpress for our STD and did the same for menus and escort cards.

Embroidered napkins - $300
Ordered from a supplier on Alibaba

Welcome drinks - $120
One of my best ideas! We used the DJ front and a couple bistro tables around our dance floor and placed them out front along with some drink canisters I already had and rented some glassware. We had already paid the rentals company to stay to flip the ceremony chairs so there was no charge from them to move that stuff too. Ordered some Sunjoy and ice from Chickfila the planner picked up on her way to the wedding and I DIYed a sign and had a bag of garnishes to add in. It was such a lovely touch and really set the tone and cost us almost nothing.

Cake - $340

Beauty - $725
Myself, a trial, and my 2 daughters

Officiant - $695

DJ - $1100

Hotel - $1600
This was definitely a splurge for us, but I wanted a really beautiful space to get ready in with great light. Worth it!

Welcome party - $2000
We hosted it on the patio of a wine and cheese shop. The 2k was just a F&B minimum, which we didn’t meet, so we were able to just buy extra bottles of wine to take home.

Misc- $500
Card box, guest book, menu folios, cocktail napkins, custom fortune cookies, table numbers, champagne tower tray (coupes are my mother’s)

Total - $61180

We didn’t hire a videographer or content creator, but my best friend does content so we still got a lot from her and we had our personal camcorder being passed around throughout the wedding. Still debating on hiring someone to edit it or do that myself.