u/richtee76

I had an acoustic trauma 18 months ago that resulted in mild to moderate hearing loss, H, TTTS, T, hearing distortions and Diplacusis (different tones between the ears)

Every second of every day has been a living hell. I’ve seen ENT on many occasions with little help (except hearing aids that just amplify the distortions) my hearing experience is a lot worse then my audiograms suggests due to the distortions, I’ve lost hope my hearing experience will ever improve and I know my time is running out. I can’t listen to music, watch TV etc because the sound is so distorted and can cause pain.

I’ve explained all this to my wife but she doesn’t get it, I suppose nobody can unless you experience these terrible hearing conditions. I’m in a really dark place and have been for the last year. The first few months I held on to the hope that it was still early and things could change, but as the months have rolled on with no improvement the pressure, panic and depression has kept escalating. Im a shell of my former self, and its not fair on those around me

People don’t get it, I wouldn’t of 2 years ago, they think other people live with much worse than us, and carry on but they don’t understand the incredible mental toll these hearing issues have on you. The “professionals” offer little to no advice (which is soul destroying in itself) and you are left to endure every second in fear, alone.

I desperately want to continue, I have a great wife and 2 amazing kids, my parents, sister etc, even the thought destroys me, but I don’t know I can live this life long term

I wouldn’t want to be remembered as someone that gave up easily because people don’t understand what hearing issues can do to the brain, isolation, fear, anxiety, depression l. I wouldn’t want to be remembered as someone that gave up on his family easily

I’m sorry if this post is dark, but this is weighing incredibly heavy, it’s completely consumed me

I’d appreciate any opinions, advice, or just someone that can relate

Thanks for reading