My bf is autistic and isn’t really affectionate
i’m specifically looking for advice from autistic people who are in relationships or have experience with physical affection in relationships!
my boyfriend is autistic, and we’ve been together for almost 2 years. i know he loves me, and i’m not questioning his love for me, but we show physical affection pretty differently. i’d say i’m affectionate about 90% of the time, whereas he’s maybe 20–30%. he does show affection, but i usually initiate it, and he tends to be more affectionate when i am.
he doesn’t compliment me very often unless i do my makeup, and he doesn’t usually kiss or hug me as much as i do him. sometimes i’ll ask him why he doesn’t initiate kisses or hugs more often, and he says he doesn’t really know why. i don’t think he does it intentionally, and i’m not trying to make him feel bad or force him to show affection in ways he’s uncomfortable with. i just sometimes wish he would initiate it more because physical affection makes me feel loved and comfortable.
i’m wondering if this could be related to his autism, like whether initiating physical affection or expressing affection comes less naturally to some autistic people, even when they genuinely love their partner. i know everyone is different, but i’d really appreciate hearing from autistic people themselves about how affection works for them in relationships and whether you’ve experienced something similar. i want to understand him better, not change who he is. ❤️