u/risssza

Hello all,

I adopted the small torbie on the left in May 2026, she is approx 1yr female, and my resident cat is the large tabby on the right, 6 yr old male. We’ve been introducing over 2 months now with little improvement and I’m getting very discouraged.
My male charges at her randomly, he doesn’t hiss, growl or make any noise for that matter. Simple locks on and chases her until she is cornered in the bedroom, or some other small area. I cannot tell when he is about to do it.

Since bringing the female home, he has shown no classic signs of aggression or displeasure. The only behaviour I can note when they are around each other is dilated pupils, and meowing.

She largely ignores him but is justifiably cautious and terrified of when his next strike will occur.

I do believe in his mind, he is attempting some sort of play? It’s just completely impulsive, inappropriate and with zero respect for boundaries

She has never tried to reciprocate, even a little bit of self-defense, she simply collapses on her side and screams like he is trying to kill her.

I had a thought that maybe it’s because he is so big and overbearing, she is too scared to realize he is not intentionally trying to hurt her?

I’m not sure. She hates staying in her base camp but every time they’re out together it ends in a chase and screaming. Scent and site swapping for 2 months, both on low dose CBD to help with anxiety and arousal. They can share treats perfectly, and can be out around each other while meals are being prepared. If food is away, resident is obsessive.

Thoughts? Anyone have intros that took forever?
Pls give me some hope ☹️

My sweet new kitty, Rosie Bush, I adopted last month! She was listed as a torbie at the rescue 😍 She was surrendered because she “wasn’t affectionate enough” but she is the sweetest lovey girl with her mama 🥺

TLDR; I adopted an 11m female torbie to keep my 6yr male cat company. Introductions were a little rushed because female hates staying confined to her safe room. Male has shown little aggression (no hissing/claws), but very energetic, pushy and not listening to social cues. Female is still scared and defensive around him. One failed play attempt where male charged at her and now she hisses and avoids him when he approaches, even calmly. However, they basically climb on top of one another, and attempt eat from the same tube when treats
come out. Unsure whether to slow introductions back down or continue supervised interactions.

Full story (sorry I know it’s long):

I recently lost my old lady after 23 years. She left behind her brother, who turned 6 this may. I was miserable and desperately craving having a sweet baby girl around the house again, and so I met rosie

She’s 11 months torbie and is the sweetest little shadow.

Ritchie is my male, he grew up with his old sister and while he harassed her sometimes, he was pretty respectful of her boundaries and listened well.
He also grew up in a home with 5 animals, three cats (his sister and a big orange bully male), a chihuahua who he frequently roughhoused with and a giant, sweet bully.
When his sister died, he started pacing and crying everyday, no amount of enrichment or play would soothe his poor little heart.

I brought Rosie home on May 16th, and introduced her to her sanctuary room, which she loved. They smelled each other under the door and it was a very mild reaction with hissing from rosie and Ritchie simply curious.

Ritchie is very high-energy, he’s also quite large. Not once has he hissed at rosie since she’s been home,

Here’s where I KNOW that this wasn’t ideal and fast-tracked: Rosie HATES being in her room. After 48 hours of decompression, she was wailing to get out. I put ritchie away and let her explore the rest of the house. Well now she refuses to want to stay in her room even when Ritchie’s out, she screams and cries and paws for 45+ mins. So I let her out, thinking they will work it out, rosie’s old foster had 7 cats and ritchie grew up with animals.
Well kinda sorta lol.

Ritchie wants to play, so bad. He loves to run and chase and wrestle and he’s not really taking social cues from Rosie that she isn’t ready. They can be in the same room with supervision and for the most part leave each other alone, Ritchie watches her and she does her thing. Today they laid about 3 feet apart, laying down with bellies up, very relaxed body language.

Until the other day, Ritchie decided he wanted play NOW, and charged her, no claws or hissing but ran up on her basically and she freaked out. She was not a fan. After that encounter I separated them again for a few more days and now Rosie seems scared of him,

Ritchie also meows loudly when he sees her, but not a yowl or hiss. Rosie pretty much steers clear of him now,
and when he wants to approach her in any way, even for a sniff, she gets extremely defensive and hissy.

Except for when I bring out churus, and then suddenly they are both on top of me, biting the crap out of the tube and essentially french kissing while sharing the same tube???? If they were so defensive and aggressive, there’s no way in hell they’d be sharing high value treat and literally licking each others mouths, right???

I’m not sure if I should take a step back with the process, or continue how I have been, when the food is away, Rosie is very hesitant and defensive, and Ritchie does not understand social cues, and is pushy to play.

Some chalk art we saw at our local grocery store today; absolutely amazing artist with elite ball knowledge 🤩

edit: Thought I added a 2nd pic but apparently not; added to comments the art right next to it, wolverine salad kits lol