Filing an updated F8 when I’ve been barely surviving without interim support… advice appreciated
My ex has been… challenging. It’s been over a year, four meditations, and we’ve gotten basically nowhere. I’ve been asking for interim spousal support since last summer to no avail. So my lawyer and I finally filed for a JCC date. BC jurisdiction.
I’ve been forced to cut back on my budget to make ends meet so much, and I’ve had to rely on financial aid from friends and family. I’ve moved into a much smaller apartment, I’ve cut back on everything I can think of just to make ends meet and afford my lawyer. I was unemployed for 7 months, and I’ve found another job, but I’m still under water no matter how hard I try. The frustrating part is that I make pretty good money, and I’m working diligently towards independence, but the legal bills are killing my finances and there’s no way around it. Each mediation costed $10k, and while I genuinely believe my lawyer is trying to help me minimize my bills, I passed $60k total last month.
I got a $50k advance from family assets to pay towards the legal bills, and my lawyer is trying again for interim support and/or an advance on family assets to help me. She is trying hard but my ex is just not responding. Not even a counter proposal, silence. And with a pending court date, I’ve been warned that the legal bills are only going to get steeper.
So now I will have to fill in a new F8 with my updated expenses, but they are artificially so much lower than they should be. I can’t qualify for any more credit than I currently have, I’m tapped out.
Do I fill it in with the reality, or with that it would be if I were still able to live the same standard of living as during the relationship? As in, can I put my restaurant bill from before I left him, or do I need to put my grocery bill from right now where I have cut back on meat etc?
He brings home at least 3x what I do BEFORE his bonuses. I just… I can’t. How do I survive on $80k a year pre-tax when my legal bills were $60k and I should expect higher this coming year? I just don’t understand what I’m supposed to be doing, how do others survive? I know a judge can force him to let me have another advance against the family assets, but everything legal seems to take months, how do I even survive that long?
I know that the ultimate answer is that I need to ask my lawyer. She’s $500 an hour though, I try to limit how often I ask for anything. Some preliminary advice would be helpful.
Do I just go back to living my life, and run out of money within a few weeks, and do a trust fall that the legal system will help me? That feels so dangerous. My credit is getting closer and closer to maxing out every month, what if I legitimately just can’t pay rent before the legal system actually does anything? Everything seems to take many months, even just getting this JCC date.