Life is so harsh
I feel as though I’ve been so unlucky in love. No man has ever truly loved me, and I don't feel loved by my family either. My father has been incredibly abusive toward me since I was a little girl. People often tell me I’m the most beautiful girl they’ve ever seen, but I can’t see it myself; I’ve developed so many insecurities. I don’t know what love tastes like, or what it feels like to be truly cherished. I have only ever been lusted after, never loved.
I’ve been stuck in a loop of unrequited love since I was sixteen, and I’m now twenty-three. Every time I fall for someone, it ends up being one-sided. So far, there have been three men. The first is a blur now; I barely remember him. The second was my best friend, who suddenly stopped talking to me, and it took me two years to move on.
This third person holds a special place in my heart. We never met in person, but we were in a situationship. I thought he loved me—the potential was there—but it turns out he didn't. Or, if he did, it was so confusing that I eventually had to remove myself from his life. It’s been seven months, and I’m still struggling to move on, no matter how hard I try.
The fact that he’s a stranger now hurts more than I can explain. It’s so difficult to accept that he’s gone. I’ve developed major trust issues, and I don't think I’ll ever fall in love again. I feel hopeless. Part of me doesn't want him back, but my heart still does. I’m just so overwhelmed right now.
Sometimes I wonder what I could have possibly done to deserve this pain, because I have never intentionally hurt anyone. I know I am a kind person, and I would never do anything to wound someone else's feelings. I am deeply sensitive, which is why this pain feels so unbearable. It hurts so much.
What do I do know 🫠
I've been listening to some moving on subliminals
It works but at the end of the day his memories take over my mind and my heart