u/rubix-the-clown

Hello everyone, first of all I'd like to thank everyone for the support I've received on my original post and all of the nice things you've said

Ive taken a short break to have some time to talk within our family, but I have talked to her deeply over the last few days, and I discovered why we believe this is happening

She has said she doesn't have a specific thought process, just sometimes they feel disgusting

and she eventually opened up that her dyslexia tutor in school (who I was not aware was not her school counsellor, but a male older student in her school.) Had made sexual comments about her and snapped her underwear band a few times.

Needless to say I immediately emailed the school asking how to go about withdrawal, and we've taken a day girls trip where we've talked further

, she doesn't want me to call the police, although I want to, this boy is 16. She has agreed to let me talk to the school and his parents (praying that I can track them down)

I feel like a horrible mother for not noticing sooner, for not asking to meet her "tutor", for not asking her who it was, for just assuming, for even sending her to that school.

Her next counselling session (outside of school) is on Friday and I have emailed the counsellor and given her a good rundown of everything so that she's informed, we're going to let her mention it on her own terms (she promised me she would)

Does anyone have suggestions on how I can help her to recover and move on from this as a parent?

My 12 year old has for the last 3 or so months been cutting up her underwear into pieces. She said at first it was because they were uncomfortable, however other pairs from the same set are fine so she admitted this wasn't the problem.

She has not started her periods yet so I did question if she had started or if she had been getting discharge and was embarrassed but she's adamant this isn't it either, but she absolutely cannot tell me what is causing this. I'm beginning to worry it's a bigger issue like SA.. but I do believe she would tell me if it was something so serious

Does anyone know what I can do about this or what may be causing it?

Edit: she is 100% not trying to make a thong, it's usually cut through the middle, completely In half or into many pieces

She has many different styles and fabrics (panties, boxers, boyshorts, high waisted, low waisted, cotton, polyester, bamboo, etc) it isn't specific ones, it's random and she's okay with all other ones that came in the set

She has dyspraxia and adhd and we are looking into autism , but she did say her underwear is not actually uncomfortable and she doesn't have the words to explain what's actually going on

She has a phone and computer but is very uninterested in them, I have parental controls on her phone for when she does use it but typically it's dead in my room for days at a time until I make her bring it out when she goes out alone, she does not play online games, just some offline ones (think fruit ninja, crossy road, wordscapes) so I am 100% sure it's not anything going on online thankfully

And lastly I wish I could be everyone askings mother you're all so very sweet 💓🥺