WIBTB for telling my friend to get an abortion?
sorry if my spelling or punctuation isn’t correct, i am from denmark.
i haven’t talked to her yet, but i am planning to. and i want advice
so my best friend (21f) has recently moved out and lives on her own in a 1 room apartment, she has a bf (19m) who she has been dating, since a few days before valentine this year (2026)
however her and her bf’s relationship has been toxic, she has cheated on him, and he has been talking shit about her behind her back and too has cheated on her. my friend told me she has lost feelings and are trying to find ways in which to breakup.
now to why i’m asking if i would be the AH; my friend is pregnant, 3-4 weeks along and is planing on keeping it, however her mental state is not the best. her and her bf are constantly fighting.
firstly, she struggles with an eating disorder, alcoholism, adhd. (not that if you have these thing you aren’t a fit mother or anything) but she genuinely isn’t in a position where mentally she would be ready and/or able.
secondly, her finances are terrible, she got paid 4 days ago (about 8000DKK) and now on the 4th she has 300DKK for the rest of the month, her rent utilities stuff is about 4000DKK a month meaning she would have 4000DKK left monthly, which wouldn’t be enough for her, her bf and a child to live off of, her bf does work but he still lives with his dad and i don’t think his monthly pay would be enough either. i think his pay is around 25.000DKK monthly.
thirdly, when she first moved in she tried to take her cat with her from her parents, but realised it was too much responsibility, and that she wanted to be able to go out, and drink with friends till late, without having to come home and take care of the cat. so she gave the cat back to her parents. now if she thinks a cat is too much responsibility, why would she want a baby?
fourthly, my friend has zero education and/or job, she has said herself she wouldn’t be able to handle having a job, and she isn’t in the right headspace to continue with her education. but she would be able to have the hardest job in the world, being a mother?
fifthly, her adoptive parents are in their 60’s, and she has zero communication with her biological parents. if she needs babysitting help or need help/or support idk if she would be able to get it. her and her adoptive parents relationship aren’t the best either. and her bf’s parents, from what i know his dad is in a wheelchair, so idk if he would be able to help, and his mother lives an hour away.
ultimately it’s her body and her choice, and i would support her no matter what, but it seems like she is in love with the idea, but that she hasn’t thought much about the reality. i have also talked to other people in the friend group, and we all think it’s not a good time for her. i talked to my parents too about it and my parents don’t think it’s a good time for her either.
so would i be wrong for telling her that right now isn’t a good time for her to have a baby?