Moving on from osu! is my most painful thing to do with my life
I started playing osu! at 13 which was 13 years ago. After my cousin introduced to me this game and basically I get hooked very quickly.
I remember when Uan play Lemon Tree I was very impressed and asked myself "How can he aim the circles and tap it to the beat without shaking" and thought there's no way I could do it, so I switched to CTB and Taiko until 2014, after getting inspired by Cooking pre-ban replays.
Then unfortunately family issues happened, my dad got a financial crisis (he owns a lot of money from his company), my healthy mother suddenly diagnosed with gallbladder cancer and doctor just simply told me that "Your mother have 5 more months to live" and after she died, I just daily absent from school and play osu! everyday to get rid of feeling of losing her.
Eventually I had a job at working in a small restaurant (yay child-labour) and I still playing osu! for hours after my shift end, my father looked disappointed but he didn't say anything. I felt guilty but the addiction was so strong I didn't have the courage to uninstall osu!.
Then covid happened, I lost my job and played osu! again until I got a new job in a big Japanese-style sushi restaurant. At that time the 10-11 hours work, 6 days a week strained my energy to play osu! but I was still soooo attached to osu! and scrolling r/osugame until 3AM, I felt so lucky I didn't have a stroke back then.
Then in 2025 my dad had a second stroke, I started revaluing for what I did in the past years, my step-mother also died in 2023 due to stroke. So at that time I considered quitting osu! for good. But couldn't do it until now.
It feels very .....peaceful? I feel like I don't need to make a fuss, don't need to cheat a score to get my account deleted, or doing bad things to get my name stained. Just click quit, don't play it anymore and focus on my career and take care of my parent, feels like... idk, everything happened so peaceful for me.
I know my English sucks since I'm not a native speaker, but since I was deep-into the osu! community for so long (joined Reddit in 2014), got a lot of fun memories in the game and the community. So I just want to get this off my chest and I want you to know how much I love this game and I love you guys for making this game awesome (especially Peppy for keep improving this game after all these years).