u/sac32

Lately, my wife and I (43) have been much more open with each other about masturbation, and she has actually started to explore that for herself, which has been incredible for us. We are recognizing the benefit in our marriage, removing secrecy about it and how to own our own sexualities.

I've realized recently for a long time I was using masturbation coupled with porn to manage my emotions, numb out stress, or clear the noise in my head. I’m working hard to shift away from that including overcoming pornography. I am working to find and a much healthier view of masturbation without porn where it’s not a coping mechanism, but a conscious way to express my own sexual energy and honor my body.

I’m curious if any of you have experienced that shift or recognized the difference in why you’re doing it. If you have, how did changing the purpose of it affect your connection with your own body? How can you tell the difference between just using it to numb out versus doing it as a healthy expression of your sexuality?

I (43M) enjoy my ass being played with. I discovered it maybe 7 or 8 years ago. One night my wife was giving me a BJ and moved her hand down there and just played with the exterior. It was amazing.

Since then, she has moved into putting in her fingers, plugs, and prostate massagers. When we were on a trip 5 years ago I asked if she would peg me and she agreed. We did it a couple times and I loved it. She hasn't done it since. She is not opposed to it but says she doesn't really get much out of it for her.

I would love to get back to some pegging. How can I make it better for her?

View Poll