PSA - you don't have to put up with shitty behavior just because your partner is trans. Your needs and emotions are important too.
I'm normally very positive and encouraging in this sub, but as someone who has worked in the mental health field with queer folks and couples, I feel a need to make a PSA about a lot of the posts I've been seeing lately.
You do NOT need to be your partner's therapist, mother, emotional punching bag, or otherwise just because they are transitioning. Yes, they may need more support than they did as a cis partner, or HRT may be triggering some difficult changes, but you do not need to stretch yourself thin or put up with neglect/abuse because of it.
I absolutely love and support my trans wife 100%. It means so fucking much being able to walk with her through her transition - the exciting parts, the intimidating parts, and everything in between. But I wouldn't be able to do that if I didn't feel like I could voice my own feelings or ask for support back when I need it. Trans or not, at the end of the day, she's my partner too. We're a team and we want to be there for each other.
Obviously, not all of these posts are created equal. Some of them are about minor communication issues, and others involve emotional neglect, cheating, gaslighting, etc. The former can be navigated with honest, difficult conversation. But it's sad seeing partners in those other posts trying to downplay their pain, or worse, assuming that their partner's shitty or abusive behavior is just a product of transitioning. Your partner is shitty and abusive. It has nothing to do with their trans identity.
I'm not trying to say that these challenges are easy to address by any means, or that a relationship with a trans partner should NEVER be difficult. That's what this sub is for. I just want everyone, cis or trans, to feel like they are in a loving, mutually supportive relationship where those difficult conversations CAN be done. You should not feel obligated to put up with shitty behavior from a partner just because that partner happens to be a certain gender. You all deserve unconditional love and care ❤️