Being poor has ruined a lifelong friendship.
Just needed to vent since I literally have no one I can talk to about this.
For context, I'm Canadian and will be referencing some Canadian terms. My best friends (who I'll call John and Jane) and I are all 30. I've been friends with John since 9th grade and Jane since 7th grade. They're my oldest friends and the only people from my childhood/high school that I'm in contact with. Jane lives a few provinces away, while John and I are about 2 hours away from each other, though we don't see each other that often due to his busy work schedule.
I took a sick leave from my job last year due to mounting stress and burnout, and ended up quitting a few months later. I was receiving EI for a while but when I had received the maximum amount of aid, I tried looking for another job. Found none, of course, so I'm currently on OW and have been since the fall. I was also taking care of my dad until we had to put him into long term care in November, where he stayed until his death in March. As you may or may not know, OW doesn't give you very much; between chipping in for the cost of my dad's long term care and trying to cover the expenses of our own house, my mom and I were barely surviving.
The issue is that Jane is getting married next month, and I can't afford to be there. I didn't really fully grasp that until last week, when I was calculating my budget and going over the cost of the trip. Between airfare (though it's relatively cheap), accommodations, food, etc., I would need over double of what I receive a month to ensure that all my bills are paid. Many are overdue, meaning if I don't pay them this month the water and hydro will be shut off. I'm devastated that I have to choose between this once-in-a-lifetime event with someone I cherish and just surviving. Most of my extended family is struggling as well, and the few friends that I have are in the same position as me so it's not as if I would be able to borrow money from anyone. My credit cards are maxed and in collections. When I told Jane, she didn't speak to me for days and just replied with a very short message on Facebook.
I just want to cry. I'm so sick of living like this.