u/sarahenany

Hi all! I guess I'm seeking the Internet's permission to buy an insulated water bottle. I have one already that works perfectly fine, but is not insulated, and technically I could go on using it for years until it breaks. But it melts ice, water warms up in the summer, etc. I have been following YouTubers who say to use what you have as the best way of safeguarding the environment. OTOH, I'm positive that if I go to a thrift store I'll find dozens of water bottles that don't leak and are insulated and the size I want. Honestly, this whole "use what you have" thing is a huge source of guilt to me (yes, I have depression and feel guilty all the time) because I have only just started trying to cut down my shopping and I can't fit into the ideal of using only what you have. Advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

tl;dr going on a no-buy and wondering about the future

I've found a lot of companionship here in re type of shopping (I binge-shop, alternating with milder periods) and browsing habits (I will spend HOURS on ebay and amazon specifically browsing a specific category).

Having decided to try and deal with this disorder after spending $3000 on Temu and $2000 on eBay on two successive months and decimating my savings, I have made a plan to try and quit browsing shopping sites completely for at least three weeks and preferably a month or more. I call it "convalescence" because it's the most compassionate term for my mental process. Food, drink and perishables are excluded from the no-buy.

The logic behind the above decision is to bypass the "extinction burst" I learned about from another video on this subreddit. The idea is that the craving gets GIGANTIC to force you to give in, but if you can wait it out, block the sites, etc., it eventually snaps and subsides, much like quitting smoking.

One great tool that helped me stop feeling self-pity (sometimes I would think sorrowfully, "No ebay... no joy in life") was remembering a friend who smoked and she always whined and wailed, "YOU WANT TO DENY ME MY JOYYYYY IN LIFE" and we were like "tiny violin time". So every time I wanted to go on ebay I remembered her self-pitying "JOY IN LIFE" and it made me laugh at myself and break out the tiny violin.

It's been two weeks and two days according to the motivational app Quitzilla (which I do NOT recommend because now they charge you without any way to cancel - still trying to get rid of it). During that period, I went on Amazon once, checked out a certain type of lock I needed, added it to cart but didn't buy it, and clicked out straight away. I'm still not certain whether that counts as a relapse that will mess up my brain chemistry. To be safe, next time I need something I'll write it down in a document and only shop for it when the extinction/quitting/convalescence period ends.

That said - shopping is a pleasure, and I don't want to be without it forever. Will I be able to shop with purpose after this convalescence is over, or will the mere sight of the familiar sites send me hurtling off a cliff again? Must I forever avoid IKEA and malls, and only go online to shop when I need something specific? These are questions that I would love the answers to if anybody has them.

Thank you!

So my fave bar shampoo/conditioner brand is having a 30% off sale. This is good by their standards. I do need to stock up on their stuff as it's imported. So I went on the site, got 6 of the shampoo and 6 of the conditioner. Then I asked myself, "Why 6 shampoo? I already have 6 bars from a previous restock. They have sales every season." So I removed them from cart. Then I looked at the conditioners. "These last me for EVER. One bar has lasted me months and the grooves in it haven't even smoothed out yet. 4 is enough." So I cut the amount to 4 and checked out. Admiring my self-restraint!
...heh. then my card didn't go through. 100% savings! But I'm proud of my thought process!

I've been following two scarves on eBay. I turned to the scarf browsing out of stress and boredom - also I work with words all day so looking at pretty things is a nice way to engage the visual part of my brain. (Although of course if I wasn't addicted to shopping, I would go on Pinterest instead. I do like the idea of being able to acquire said pretty thing if I want it.)

Anyway, I've been wanting these three scarves (two of one design because 'I can gift it to a friend') and clicking on them repeatedly. Then between yesterday and today, I discovered this sub. I feel my desire for the scarves *substantially* go down - I still low-key want them, but with nothing like the urgency I felt before. I believe it's having my desires seen and empathized with by like-minded people who suffer from the same thing. I never had this before - there was an amazing post about yearning obsessively for a blazer that was SO well-written, and another about buying multiples of one item, all of which resonated SO HARD with me.

So, thanks to everyone on this sub for being here and making me feel so much part of a community, supported and seen. I'll let you know what happens with the scarves, but oh my goodness, the relief from the urgency! It feels so good!