new IR trainee
I have just started IR training in a new deanery and am on the struggle bus trying to manage expectations from consultants as well as from myself. I don't think the imposter syndrome has been this bad even when I was an FY1.
The other trainees in the deanery who have started with me are originally from here so they know the team well. I'm still trying to find my feet with the way things are done here.
The trainees who have started with me have also done a lot of IR and seem to do a lot of basic procedures independently. They seem to be performing at the level of an ST5 or ST6 at least to me, even though we have just started ST4. I don't even know if their level of independence is what is expected from me at this stage. For some of these procedures they do independently, I have only observed them before. Objectively I'm not at their level and I think this feeds into some of the expectations from the consultant body and my imposter syndrome. I'm worried this will come back to haunt me at ARCP when I'm compared with my colleagues.
So far, only one consultant has been understanding and treats me like I know nothing about IR, which is great. Most assume I am equally competent as the other trainees and then look horrified that I cannot even explain the basic steps to a procedure we are about to do. I know I need to put in the groundwork and read up but there is only so much I can do every evening. One of the consultants even asked me if I had just started ST1 because I couldn't even label the arteries properly on the angiogram.
I feel like a complete fraud and have underestimated how steep this learning curve is. Each time I hear a consultant say "you must have done this so many times", I cringe having to tell them I have maybe only done it once or have never done it before. I know this will pass and I will eventually get better but I'm getting quite disheartened at the end of every day. I am starting to dread going to work every morning.
Any tips to thrive in IR especially at the start? What resources did you use and how did you navigate this period of time if you started off training not having done much before?
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