I (27F) do not feel like my partner (29M) cares about my pleasure. How do I talk to him about this without causing a fight?
I have been dating my bf for 4 months. He has never once gone down on me, made me cum, or even touched my 🐱longer than 30 seconds. I notice that he checks out mentally after touching me anywhere for more than a moment. On the other side of things, I blow him at least every other day.
I fear that he is either not concerned with my pleasure, afraid of vaginas, or both. Am I being too reductive? What else could explain his behavior? We live together; and run a business together, so I can't just leave, which honestly I would at this point if not for our shared work. I keep trying to tell him that it's okay if he just wants to be friends (I have my own house nearby...so we could keep working together) but he gets so angry when I suggest it. His mother is really the bend-over-backwards for her son type which I fear plays a role in this. He has anxious attachment style.
I'm fed up and don't know what to do. I can't make him desire me, I can't get him to admit he doesn't, I can't leave, I am unable to get through to him. Is there ANY way in hell to handle this gracefully??? An ultimatum involves the risk of losing what feels like my life's work, so I'm scared. But I just feel so angry and rejected. I'm also physically beautiful (by conventional standards), and he is not. It feels so ironic that I'm in this situation. I love him very much. I feel stuck and awful. Any advice whatsoever would be appreciated.
TLDR: bf does not seem to desire me. I wonder if a) there's some way I could be misunderstanding his behavior and b) how to talk to him about it without starting an argument that destroys our business