u/savantandscholar2

This week on Mallory Can’t Cook, Kyle makes steak while Mallory bravely tackles the culinary obstacle of cutting and roasting a butternut squash.
And yes, she actually set up her phone to film herself cutting it, presumably for anyone who has spent their entire life wondering how vegetables become smaller vegetables.
The photo on the right is AFTER it was roasted. 😂Somehow she managed to roast squash without actually roasting it. Barely any oil, barely any seasoning, no browning, no caramelization, just warm orange cubes looking exactly as confused as the rest of us.🤭
Naturally, she narrates the entire process with extraordinary confidence while simultaneously demonstrating that she has no idea how long it should cook. The result is pale, undercooked squash with all the color and texture of something that briefly heard about an oven.
Another culinary masterclass from Mallory! I am genuinely loving this series and her incompetence in the kitchen.

These are my opinions based on public information.

Sorry ladies I’m behind on my favorite series😂 On last week’s episode of Mallory Can’t Cook, Mallory makes French onion soup and somehow turns it into an entire production because she’s trying to sell her “friend’s” cookbook.
Her friend, Cheese Gal, is another influencer fraud who has managed to turn internet followers into a cookbook despite not being a chef or having any culinary background. She’s also connected to the Nashville music industry, which is why Mallory has to attach herself to her. Also Why does Mallory think she’s part of the Nashville music community???
The funniest part is that this French onion soup recipe is the Serious Eats recipe with a few words changed and republished as cheese gals🥴 So Mallory films an entire Reel making French onion soup like she’s preparing some elaborate gourmet meal. Anyone who actually cooks knows French onion soup is one of the easiest soups you can make and yet Mallory still couldn’t manage it by herself.
Kyle did all the grocery shopping and then had to help her make it because apparently onions and broth require a support team.
Then she bizarrely starts bragging about how Kyle is a master griller and makes a point of saying he’s better than her sister’s husband. Why does her sister’s husband need to be dragged into a French onion soup Reel???? He probably has a job and doesn’t have all day to perfect his grilling technique.
Then Mallory says she’ll link the cookbook.
No need Mallory! Serious Eats already has the recipe available online for free!
But my favorite part was Cheese Gal commenting that the best compliment was hearing Mallory’s whole family loved the recipe.
Why is that a compliment? It’s not your recipe! People do not hate these influencers enough or realize what con artists they are. Then Mallory says, This is Kyle’s top 2 recipes ever…….. yeah he’s use to eating bay leaf soup she thinks is chili and insta pot rice every week😂

These are my opinions based on public information.

Mallory’s still in her cooking era making her weekly bay leaf soup. 🤭 I’m starting to think she has genuinely never seen chili before. Nothing says chili quite like water, bay leaves, and a little ketchup.

Mallory obviously just tried to respond to yesterday’s Reddit post about her complete lack of self awareness and delusional confidence by quoting Nelson Mandela: “Who are you not to be great?” Unfortunately, Nelson Mandela didn’t say it. 😂😂 The quote is from Marianne Williamson, a bizarre New Age self help charlatan. So while apparently trying to prove how enlightened and great she is, Mallory managed to post a quote she didn’t even bother to attribute correctly. 🤣 You cannot make this level of irony up.
Maybe put down the endless self help charlatan bullshit and start with something more useful like self awareness and basic fact checking. There is a massive difference between confidence and grandiosity. Unfortunately, Mallory doesn’t seem to understand the difference. “Who are you not to be great?” is about refusing to diminish yourself. It is not about declaring yourself extraordinary or exaggerating your accomplishments. 🤭
The funniest part is that she obviously posted this in response to yesterday’s Reddit and then immediately proved our point by being confidently dumb with no self awareness all over again.
People need to keep exposing these influencer frauds. All Mallory does is regurgitate the same self help nonsense she reads and repeat it to her audience. It is her entire schtick. She has made a career out of recycling motivational clichés and selling them to gullible, unread women.
Mallory spent years chasing fame, status, and visibility through singing, acting, hosting, pageants, and reality television, and none of it turned her into the celebrity she wanted to become. What finally worked was self help. Once you catch on to her game, it becomes obvious. Everything she does is a calculated performance.

*This post is commentary and opinion based on publicly available statements and content. Any conclusions about motive, intent, or personality are my interpretation and should not be read as statements of established fact.

On tonight’s performance of Mallory Can’t Cook, she has apparently hired someone to film her again wandering around the kitchen making another bowl of unseasoned food and yogurt she keeps calling white sauce.
First, she marinates thick, untrimmed chicken breasts for 30 minutes as though lemon and oil are going to penetrate two inches of chicken by sheer optimism.
Then we move on to shrimp, which she tosses into a dry pan over high heat with essentially no oil or seasonings so naturally they stick to the non stick pan😂 Meanwhile, she manages to burn the residue marinade in the chicken pan while somehow getting almost no actual color on the chicken. That takes a lot of talent. I’ve never seen a burnt pan and colorless food.
Then comes my favorite moment! She says “Something about the marinade adds that special little… this is not just chicken kick. It is so lemony.” 😂 I’m sure that dry flavorless chicken was so lemony after a 30 minute marinade and no other seasoning. Then she shows us how she would “plate” dinner, where everything gets dumped into a bowl; burnt orzo, pale chicken, flavorless shrimp, plain zucchini, plain corn, and a blob of yogurt shoved off to the side. A culinary masterpiece!
And once again, there is no family sitting around a table actually eating this creation together.

What makes this whole performance even funnier is that she literally brags about what a good cook she is😂
And this is really the recurring theme with Mallory, absolutely no self awareness and an almost delusional level of confidence in her own abilities. She doesn’t just do things badly, she does them badly while filming herself as though we are watching excellence unfold in real time. Her constant insistence that she’s exceptionally talented at everything, even when the evidence obviously suggests otherwise, is a perfect example of illusory superiority and Grandiosity. This high achieving genius is also planting another herb garden and renaming it her fall herb garden, because she couldn’t keep the first one alive.
Bone apple tea y’all! 😂

Mallory is still talking about her 5th place finish at Miss America 16 years later as though it were some extraordinary achievement. 😂 So, in honor of this apparently historic fifth place finish, here are all the other women who also finished 5th at Miss America from 2011–2026. Happy Miss America night everyone🤭

2011 — Emoly Ann West, Oklahoma
2012 — Noelle Freeman, California
2013 — Mariah Cary, Iowa
2014 — Rebecca Yeh, Minnesota
2015 — Lauren Kuhn, Massachusetts
2016 — Meg McGuffin, Alabama
2017 — Laura Lee Lewis, Mississippi
2018 — Margana Wood, Texas
2019 — Gabriela Taveras, Massachusetts
2020 — Jillian Duffy, Connecticut
2021 — No competition held
2022 — Abigail Hayes, Oregon
2023 — Kelsey Hollis, Georgia
2024 — Caroline Parente, Rhode Island
2025 — Stephanie Finoti, Ohio
2026 — Emma Terry, Alabama

Louis Vuitton or Mallory Ervin? Who did it better**😂** Can someone explain how this is supposed to be legal?
Is In my Sundays just copying Louis Vuitton damier pattern? At what point does inspiration just become copying?

Natural born high achiever? Constantly recalibrating and reframing? 😂 Mallory’s been listening to her favorite motivational charlatan Tony Robbins again. She absorbs this ridiculous self help language and then regurgitates it to her audience as though she’s some profound expert in anything. And what exactly is Mallory recalibrating?? the next handbag or piece of jewelry to buy? 🥴
But I’m genuinely confused, so maybe someone can explain it to me. I thought she was a theatre major who spent her life chasing fame. As far as I’ve ever been able to find, I don’t believe she held a real job before starting YouTube around age 30. This is an adult woman who spent six months in luxury rehab and cried over a haircut.😂 Then she became a 30 year old influencer, eventually found an extraordinarily gullible audience, and discovered she could sell them virtually anything. Being successful at monetizing an audience does not make someone a high achiever. I’m not sure many people would describe someone who didn’t enter the workforce until around age 30 as a natural born high achiever?
A high achiever is driven by personal growth, discipline, competence, and excellence. A narcissist is driven by attention, validation, admiration, status, and the constant need to be perceived as exceptional.
High achievers usually don’t need to keep reminding everyone that they are one. 🤭

Mallory’s latest In My Sundays cash grab is here, and somehow the prints keep getting cheaper and more juvenile. This time it’s a bizarre attempt at a bandana print with bows thrown into the mix😂 Because apparently nothing says luxury like Western paisley covered in little bows. Then there are the large white plastic buttons, which looks like a clown costume and doesn’t even complement the print.
The funniest part is that she continues to market these as luxury pajamas. There is nothing luxurious, elevated or fashionable about these alibaba China pjs. NOTHING. Not 1 element is considered a luxury product. Every influencer has a pajama line now. Seriously Go compare them! They have better prints, better details, better quality. But why is Mallory the only one calling hers luxury🥴 Just a master manipulator and hustler.

Mallory is a designer now? 😂 She actually said, As a person who designs! What exactly does she design? She went to NYC for 2 days, got some inspiration, and suddenly she thinks she’s a designer. Pretty sure they hire designers to create her merch. Using ideas you saw on Pinterest does not make you a designer. I didn’t realize she studied design in theatre school🤭
I have genuinely never witnessed a bigger con artist. This is also the same person who somehow convinced Shawn Johnson she was a makeup artist. 😂 The résumé just keeps expanding depending on the audience.
And I have a genuine question for anyone here! I cannot seem to find any information showing that Mallory ever held a job before she started YouTube at age 30. Does anyone know if she ever actually worked before that??? In fairness to Mallory- I can absolutely believe she designed the Tiger with the sheet over it🤣

This is what pathological attention seeking and narcissism looks like. She could have stepped aside and made this video privately facing the camera outside, but Mallory needs an audience!
So naturally, she had to film herself right there in the airport, surrounded by strangers, to make an announcement that amounted to absolutely nothing. She was going to announce her next cash grab event………except it’s already sold out.😂
Riveting. No one cares except the 50 bizzare women who go to every event like a bunch of losers. But I’m sure everyone waiting for their flight was deeply invested in this breaking news. I’m sure people waiting for their flights wanted to be filmed. She has zero consideration for other people.

Mallory’s exhausting busy day was a work out, had a meeting, picked up a kid, went to a grocery store with her unemployed husband, and is now bravely making dinner by shredding prepared rotisserie chicken onto a tortilla with some bag cheese. And yes she actually included drinking a smoothie in her daily checklist😂 I can’t tell if she’s incompetent or dumb? She literally can’t handle the most basic menial tasks and is so out of touch with reality. This isn’t a busy day. How many of you busy moms worked out today, had a smoothie and went to a farm stand😂 and whats a beef stack tomato🥴 pretty sure she meant beefsteak illiterate moron. Absolutely no clue how to cook or function on her own. Oh and she put the sweatshirt back on because suddenly there will be a restock🙌🏻

I’m sorry, but a quart of water, 4 tablespoons of ketchup and 3 tablespoons of brown sugar is not chili. That’s a weird sweet ground beef soup🥴 where are the tomatoes? I’ve never seen chili without tomatoes and a quart of water😂 She’s too dumb to realize this recipe is embarrassing. The best part is watching someone parade around thousands of dollars worth of cookware and designer dishes to make cafeteria food.

Mallory Ervin is bragging and acting shocked that her In My Sundays x Realtree collaboration randomly landed in PEOPLE. But here’s the part she left out.😏

On August 11, the collaboration was announced in a press release distributed through EIN Presswire, a press release distribution service used to push brand news out to journalists, editors, media outlets and news aggregators.
The release was issued under Kari Scott PR, with Kari Scott listed as the media contact for In My Sundays.
Why does that matter?
Because Kari Scott also happens to be the Director of Brand Communications for PEOPLE and Entertainment Weekly.😂
And this wasn’t her first connection to in my Sundays. In 2024, while working in brand communications at PEOPLE, the same Kari Scott personally recommended In My Sundays pajamas in a PEOPLE gift guide!

Then, one week after the Realtree press release went out, In My Sundays appeared as 01 of 65 in PEOPLE’s Best New Fashion Launches of 2026 shopping roundup. WHAT A COINCIDENCE!

🛑This in my Sundays x realtree launch had professional PR behind it, and the PR contact publicly listed on the release just so happened to work for PEOPLE itself. 🙌🏻

Media Contact: Kari Scott
Organization: Kari Scott PR
Email: KariScottPR@gmail.com
Phone: 850-206-7049

I don’t know if she paid people magazine??? Hey Mallory care to comment on the connections to kari Scott and people magazine?

Wow wow wow Mallory😉

At this point, they might as well put her photo in the dictionary next to narcissism. Apparently, no one had ever thought to put a turkey on a sweatshirt until Mallory arrived to revolutionize Thanksgiving apparel! Has she ever used Google? This is the self described hustler at work! This is the slimy sales tactics she’s mastered. Just living full of shit y’all! People line up from all over the world to get her turkey sweatshirts🤭

Mallory’s new prayer candle station is a PERFECT example of turning religion into content and Catholicism into an aesthetic. Catholic faith is not a collection of candles! 🥴Lighting candles is an extremely small Catholic devotional practice. It has very little to do with Catholicism, but it’s all she knows. Reducing Catholicism to candles, medals, and aesthetic rituals completely misses the entire point of faith. She cares more about the aesthetics of faith, which is why she wears tens of thousands of dollars in religious jewelry and loves a good candle station. 😂 It’s why she’s launching faith fully, so she can profit off the aesthetics of religion.
This is a self described hustler who openly believes in manifestation and treats Catholic medals like good luck charms. That is not Catholic theology. Catholicism explicitly rejects superstition and the idea that blessed objects possess some independent magical power. This narcissist has preached more about manifestation and vision boards than she has ever mentioned God or scripture. In fact her favorite book is the secret, not the Bible.
When someone seems far more interested in displaying the props of Catholicism than understanding its theology, sacraments, teachings, and obligations, it’s not devotion = it’s purely performance by a theater major/motivational speaker reality contestant. She ordered this new candle station just in time to launch faith fully🤭 Is this for photo shoots and a tax write off?

Mallory has Kyle wearing pajamas around town🤣 he has to earn his keep somehow

Mallory told her followers that she came up with camo pjs a year ago and this realtree collab was because she’s from Kentucky! 😂 i wonder how skims and all the other brands who have licensed realtree camo came up with this original idea and did they credit Mallory Ervin? 🤭 Her and her team just sit for hours coming up with these ideas!

Mallory Ervin is still desperately trying to market in my Sundays pajamas as luxury, when every visible detail is cheap, mass produced influencer merch with an enormous markup.
There is nothing luxury about the construction. Cheap serged seams, basic cut, thick exposed elastic on the men’s waistband, and some cheap white material sewn inside that doesn’t even match the garment. 😂 Nothing Says Luxury Like Cheap Serging, paper thin fabric, Exposed Elastic and white interlining on green camo! Her luxury branding is so absurd and she knows it, no matter who she tried to collaborate with. If a pair of pajamas costs roughly $12 to manufacture and is sold for $100, that’s a 733% markup over cost. You aren’t paying for exceptional fabric, tailoring or craftsmanship. You’re paying for an influencer’s name and expensive marketing to polish a turd. It’s cheap, China made influencer merch being pushed as luxury by a self described hustler. Frankly, hustler may be the most accurate description attached to her brand!
Oh, and her fabric isn’t special or magic like the hustler claims. It’s a heavily chemically processed fabric, not natural no matter how she tries to sell it. Cheap fast fashion brands use Tencel, and it’s manufactured in the same factories as polyester.
Tencel is not a durable fabric either. It’s used because it’s cheap. Tencel fibers significantly weaken whenever they get wet, which is why her pajamas thin and pill so quickly and look cheap and worn within months. They wrinkle terribly and stretch out because the material lacks structure, and the more you wash Tencel, the worse it gets.
It also heavily traps sweat and body oils! Tencel absorbs stains them into its semi synthetic material, leading to permanent sweat stains and persistent odors that are incredibly difficult to wash out despite all her cooling marketing buzzwords.😂
What’s painfully obvious is that she has absolutely no understanding of the fabric she’s selling. But that doesn’t stop a hustler. And she thinks she started the camo trend!!!!🤣 She literally said that today! Someone might want to let her know all the pj brands that have been doing camo for decades!

Happy Monday everybody, it’s Mallorys cash grab week! Time to break out the thousands of dollars worth of performative religious jewelry.
Funny how the crosses and saint charms only seem to appear when there’s something to sell. Go back through her photos and videos and fact check it yourself. You’ll have a hard time finding this jewelry when she’s not selling anything.
Nothing says deep faith and worshiping God quite like turning tens of thousands of dollars in gold charms into a marketing strategy and good luck charms!