r/MalloryErvinSnark

Those look dead and need to be replaced! The pumpkin patch people did an amazing job and I hoped they charge these inflosers up the a$$ for their work! I mean up the a$$ because they should!

This week on Mallory Can’t Cook, Kyle makes steak while Mallory bravely tackles the culinary obstacle of cutting and roasting a butternut squash.
And yes, she actually set up her phone to film herself cutting it, presumably for anyone who has spent their entire life wondering how vegetables become smaller vegetables.
The photo on the right is AFTER it was roasted. 😂Somehow she managed to roast squash without actually roasting it. Barely any oil, barely any seasoning, no browning, no caramelization, just warm orange cubes looking exactly as confused as the rest of us.🤭
Naturally, she narrates the entire process with extraordinary confidence while simultaneously demonstrating that she has no idea how long it should cook. The result is pale, undercooked squash with all the color and texture of something that briefly heard about an oven.
Another culinary masterclass from Mallory! I am genuinely loving this series and her incompetence in the kitchen.

These are my opinions based on public information.

Sorry ladies I’m behind on my favorite series😂 On last week’s episode of Mallory Can’t Cook, Mallory makes French onion soup and somehow turns it into an entire production because she’s trying to sell her “friend’s” cookbook.
Her friend, Cheese Gal, is another influencer fraud who has managed to turn internet followers into a cookbook despite not being a chef or having any culinary background. She’s also connected to the Nashville music industry, which is why Mallory has to attach herself to her. Also Why does Mallory think she’s part of the Nashville music community???
The funniest part is that this French onion soup recipe is the Serious Eats recipe with a few words changed and republished as cheese gals🥴 So Mallory films an entire Reel making French onion soup like she’s preparing some elaborate gourmet meal. Anyone who actually cooks knows French onion soup is one of the easiest soups you can make and yet Mallory still couldn’t manage it by herself.
Kyle did all the grocery shopping and then had to help her make it because apparently onions and broth require a support team.
Then she bizarrely starts bragging about how Kyle is a master griller and makes a point of saying he’s better than her sister’s husband. Why does her sister’s husband need to be dragged into a French onion soup Reel???? He probably has a job and doesn’t have all day to perfect his grilling technique.
Then Mallory says she’ll link the cookbook.
No need Mallory! Serious Eats already has the recipe available online for free!
But my favorite part was Cheese Gal commenting that the best compliment was hearing Mallory’s whole family loved the recipe.
Why is that a compliment? It’s not your recipe! People do not hate these influencers enough or realize what con artists they are. Then Mallory says, This is Kyle’s top 2 recipes ever…….. yeah he’s use to eating bay leaf soup she thinks is chili and insta pot rice every week😂

These are my opinions based on public information.

No one cares about your cooking, so spare us with the crazy eyes pls! She’s so manic.