u/scarlet_mei

There are currently two directors of the social work department where I work. One (Leader 1) strongly advocates for me and has been pushing me to continue to advance and grow in my role, the other (Leader 2) takes any opportunity to tear down their employees and is notorious in the social work world for all the wrong reasons. Leader 1 is about to retire and plans to pass along their role to Leader 2. Both oversee the department equally, but Leader 1 took on the role of being my direct supervisor when there was a management change.

Leader 1 encouraged me to apply for multiple opportunities and has helped me to connect with a senior leader of the org to support my chances. For a separate opportunity, Leader 2 has the full decision making power. Leader 1 and my old boss told me that I would be a shoo-in for the position and I worked very hard on the application. Leader 2 just gave me a list of reasons why they would not allow me to pursue that opportunity, of which the reasons included conversations I had with Leader 1 about the exact same thing, and was told that I’d be great at. Leader 2 didn’t explicitly state that I would never be considered for that opportunity, but it was strongly implied.

I just feel very conflicted. I get that Leader 2 is basically getting the department handed to them once Leader 1 leaves. Leader 1 has always been such a good advocate for me, and I just feel so hurt by Leader 2.

There are currently two directors of the social work department where I work. One (Leader 1) strongly advocates for me and has been pushing me to continue to advance and grow in my role, the other (Leader 2) takes any opportunity to tear down their employees and is notorious in the social work world for all the wrong reasons. Leader 1 is about to retire and plans to pass along their role to Leader 2. Both oversee the department equally, but Leader 1 took on the role of being my direct supervisor when there was a management change.

Leader 1 encouraged me to apply for multiple opportunities and has helped me to connect with a senior leader of the org to support my chances. For a separate opportunity, Leader 2 has the full decision making power. Leader 1 and my old boss told me that I would be a shoo-in for the position and I worked very hard on the application. Leader 2 just gave me a list of reasons why they would not allow me to pursue that opportunity, of which the reasons included conversations I had with Leader 1 about the exact same thing, and was told that I’d be great at. Leader 2 didn’t explicitly state that I would never be considered for that opportunity, but it was strongly implied.

I just feel very conflicted. I get that Leader 2 is basically getting the department handed to them once Leader 1 leaves. Leader 1 has always been such a good advocate for me, and I just feel so hurt by Leader 2.

Hi everyone, I am a longtime renter and I am looking to move in the next few months. I currently live in a one bed apartment where I have both upstairs and downstairs neighbors. I currently live with one large dog, but there’s a possibility of getting a second dog soon.

In my search for a new place to live, I have come across a few standalone apartment properties, where it would be more like living in a small house. One of these properties is in the same community as a few of my coworkers and friends, and has a lot of good reviews. Additionally, the unit that I’m looking into has a den, which would be a good space for my crafting supplies, but those one aren’t a guarantee. Plus, my unit would have a private backyard. The downside is that these are extremely hard to come by and that I would be getting a good deal for the first year I signed the lease, but then the price would go up a lot, if I resign. And the only option is street-side parking, unless I want to cough up additional money for a covered spot.

Of course, the other option is to bite the bullet and continue to live in community style apartment living, and just get a two bed and the possibility of an attached garage, depending on which floor I’m on. I would still be guaranteed my office space if I lived in a 2 bed. The problem is, I am so done with having upstairs and downstairs neighbors.

Then there’s option 3, which is just to buy a townhome/house, but in this housing market with these interest rates, that would be not be the most financially feasible idea.

Thoughts? Which should I choose?

Edit: spelling

TW: assault, DV, break in

So, I (26F) and my sister (27F) have always been very close, and practically glued at the hip. A couple years ago, we moved to two different cities across different states, but still within driving distance from one another. For ease of things, let’s call her Macy (names are fake).

Macy had gotten out of a long term relationship back in the summer of last year and got back into the dating pool sometime in the late fall. She dated a couple people, and then started dating this guy, let’s call him Ethan (32M), whom she really liked.

I never had a chance to meet Ethan myself, but he seemed like a decent guy from what she had said. Around the holidays, we stayed with our family for a few days, and she would call him every spare second she had. She wanted to introduce the two of us over the phone, and I happily obliged. While she was putting him on speaker, he commented, “ is this someone I can trust? Or she some kind of bitch that’s gonna get you in trouble?” She and I literally were just going out for dinner. His comment struck me as a little unnerving, but I didn’t comment on it, because she seemed happy.

Flash forward a couple months later, she calls me in tears. He’s in jail because he punched her in the face and dragged her by her hair while on a night out. They were both intoxicated, but he was the sole aggressor. A kind stranger took her from the street and into a restaurant, where they called the police and had her brought to the hospital. He evaded them and broke into her home, while she was getting checked out, where he completely ransacked the house. There was significant property damage. That’s where the police found him, and then dragged him off to jail. A restraining order was automatically filed by the state, and she swore him off for good.

Macy spent a couple weeks with me well she tried to get everything figured out. Ethan doesn’t know where I live, as far as I’m concerned, and so, I felt like it was a safer place for her to be for the time being.

Macy and I kept in constant contact and we are always checking on each other. About a month ago, she started responding less and less, but drunk called me one night. She and Ethan had gotten back together, and the only reason why she told me, is because she was too drunk to realize that she was on the phone with me.

I’ve been keeping an eye on her Find My, and she’s often at his place. I understand that she’s a grown adult and can make whatever decision she wants with her life, but I am worried about what he is capable of doing to her. I’ve already seen what he can do to her. And it’s my place to tell her that what she’s doing is putting herself in danger, and I haven’t told our parents, because I’m not really sure what that would do.

I know that, on average, it takes someone seven attempts to leave their abusive partner. I don’t even know if she sees him as that. I want her to be happy, but I’m also scared for her safety. Any advice is greatly appreciated.