I miss sex. But even more, I miss feeling wanted.
I’m over 50 years old, and for quite some time I’ve been trying to understand whether what I feel is normal, or if there’s simply something wrong with me.
From the outside, my life probably looks completely normal. Financial stability, a shared life, someone you can rely on in difficult situations. We function well as a team. The problem is that I no longer feel any real closeness between us.
And honestly, it’s not even just about sex anymore. The last time we were intimate was probably around a year ago. And what I remember most from it are comments like “just finish already” rather than any kind of warmth or mutual desire. After hearing things like that, something inside you slowly shuts down. Eventually you stop even wanting to try.
I think the hardest part is feeling lonely while still being in a relationship. The lack of touch, hugs, affection, a kiss for no reason, or simply feeling wanted by the other person. Over time you start feeling more like roommates than partners.
We’ve talked about it many times. Dozens of conversations. Calmly, honestly, without fighting. Nothing changed. And I think I’ve reached a point where I no longer have the strength to start the same conversation over and over again.
Lately I’ve started thinking about something that would have sounded absurd to me a few years ago. Is it really so wrong to crave simple human closeness from another person? Conversation, warmth, a hug, feeling seen and wanted. I’m not looking for affairs or meaningless sex. I’m honestly just trying to understand whether a person can live like this for another 10 or 15 years without slowly dying inside.
What surprised me the most after finding this community is realizing how many people feel exactly the same way. For years I thought maybe I was overreacting or expecting too much. But maybe this isn’t really about having a “high libido.” Maybe it’s simply about a very human need for closeness and connection.
I’d also genuinely appreciate hearing from women. I’m really trying to understand both sides of this and not look at everything only through my own pain or frustration. I’d like to know how women experience situations like this, and what it feels like to be on the other side of such emotional distance.