tips/resources etc. for developing a d/s dynamic within an already established vanilla relationship
My boyfriend (26m) and I (23f) have been dating for just under a year, and while he has always topped and i have always bottomed, we have never done anything particularly kinky nor has he ever put me into subspace.
The three things that I'm most concerned about are A. Transitioning from seeing my bf as just my bf, to seeing him as my bf and my dom/daddy. To me those feel like entirely different worlds, perhaps because I've never done it before. It feels much more natural/logical to me to start as a d/s dynamic and then branch that into a relationship as well, than the other way around. I do want to overcome this though, because I love my boyfriend very much and feel that in every other aspect of our relationship, we are perfect for each other.
B. I have more experience in being a submissive than he has in being a dom, but only barely. I have been in one rather brief dynamic before, but that person was alot older than me and had a ton of experience in being a dom, so I always felt very safe going into subspace and trusted that he could handle whatever reaction came out of me. My boyfriend has never been a dom before, and that makes me a bit apprehensive about his ability to lead a scene and handle me when I'm in a reduced mental state (to me that's what subspace feels like). I feel like I am rather new to being a sub as well, and as such I feel that I need a dom who is more experienced, not less. I also don't want to feel like I am teaching him how to be my dom, because that kinda ruins the idea of it for me.
C. I was the one who suggested exploring a dynamic, and while he is very interested in it as well, I phrased it as "a dynamic is something i need in a long term relationship" because well...thats the truth. For those of you who might be asking yourselves, well why wasn't this discussed when y'all were first dating/getting to know each other? That would be because while I've always known I was into being submissive, the realisation that I need a dynamic is something i have only realised in the past few weeks. Bearing all that in mind, I still want to go about this in a way that makes my bf feel safe/able to voice things if he realises that this isnt for him. I.e., i dont want him to feel like he's failing me or I'm going to break up with him if he doesn't end up liking/wanting this.
If any of y'all have: -Resources on learning to be a dom for my bf -Resources on learning to be a submissive for me -Resources on scene ideas/ elements of a dynamic that would be good for beginners to test the waters -Anything else y'all more experienced folks might recommend for us
Thanks and thanks again