u/selfdestructive1ny

Hey, this is a vent about my trip to Thailand a few weeks ago, and a discussion, to see if anyone else had a major expectations vs reality of a trip they were dreaming of and finally went on only to be let down.

I’m a seasoned solo traveller and I mean solo-solo, I usually don’t meet anyone by my own choice. When I stayed in hostels it was because I was so overstimulated by so many people around constantly that I didn’t have the energy to engage in any social connection. This time I wanted things to be different.

I saved up for a year to be able to afford flights and resorts in Thailand. Knowing it’s a backpacker-heavy destination, I decided I did want to meet people this time and to do that I wanted to book resorts so I had the option to be alone when I needed it.

I feel like everything went wrong on this trip. Not just socially- but there were very few travelers I saw, and those I tried to talk to were actually so rude to me. I did all the things the backpackers do- elephant sanctuary, a cooking class, the slow boat to Laos, Kuang Si falls. You’d expect on at least ONE of those excursions I could find one person to chat with. Nope. I tried, too. People were extremely quiet on the excursions, already paired up with people they knew. Or a bunch of Chinese tourists who only spoke to each other in Chinese. On the slow boat, it seemed like everyone had stayed at the same hostel just before, so they were all paired up and didn’t even look at me when I asked them how long they’d been traveling for.

Later that night at our stopover in Pak Beng, I showed up to a restaurant and a lot of people from the slow boat were at a table. I said hi and they sort of just looked at me then went back to chatting amongst themselves. I sat at the table right next to them alone and it was such a painful experience to be that obviously left out.

That was just the social stuff. The heat was so unbearable I could only stay outside for an hour or two, and even that small amount of time I would become drenched with sweat. I got a terrible sun rash all over my face by day 2. I also seemed to lose something every time I moved destinations. The worst was when I realized I lost my portable water bottle- right before a 6hr bus ride. Both my portable chargers stopped working. The rooms I paid extra for AC- the power went out every night and I couldn’t sleep because it was too hot. I have ARFID - basically sometimes even though I’m starving I can’t eat anything and the thought of eating makes me want to throw up. It’s been well controlled for months but of course as soon as I landed it came back with a vengeance. One of the things I was most looking forward to in Thailand was trying all the food. All I was able to eat there was grapes and mangos, I hadn’t been able to eat anything else. I also got my period, of course.

It’s been weeks and I still can’t stop thinking about it. I’m angry at myself for not having a better time, whether that meant ignoring all the bad stuff and trying to have a good time regardless, or doing something to make my time better. I’m just so sad that my dream destination has such bad memories attached to it now. Vent over.

Has anyone had an experience like this? Also, has anyone had an experience like this then gone back to the same place to try and make different memories? How did that go?

anyone know what the scene is like over there? I’m debating grabbing a lil more weed in chiang mai before heading up to chiang khong for the next night before the slow boat, but obviously don’t want to spend the cash if there’s nowhere to smoke or it’s super looked down upon up there or something.

;Will only be for one night as I’m def not bringing anything with me to Laos

Hey-
I bought a couple of pre rolls at a dispensary in Chiang Mai that doesn’t allow people to smoke inside. My guesthouse has a strict “no cannabis” policy. Where’s a good spot to smoke that won’t draw attention? Open to bars or empty areas etc

Hi, it’s the socially anxious solo-traveller with another question for you all, you were very helpful on my last post. Good news, made it to Chiang Mai and it’s already less stressful than I found Bangkok to be.

The issue: I. CANNOT. STOP. SWEATING.
My hair is wet after just an hour, sweat down my face, makeup running off my face, and I can barely stay outside for more than a couple of hours without becoming dizzy and sluggish. I need all the tips

I have a little fan and I’m drinking lots of water, but are there any supplements or sprays or powders, literally anything, that help with heat or sweat? i saw a post awhile ago about some supplement that’s supposed to cool you down called prickly pear or something but I can’t find the post or the supplement anywhere.

Anything that’s even worked anecdotally for you, I’d love to hear it I’m so uncomfy!!

Hi all,
I hope this doesn’t come off as disrespectful or immature or anything, I’m hoping for reassurance or tips. I have pretty bad social anxiety (and am autistic) but I’m a seasoned solo-traveller and it doesn’t usually get in the way. I’ve never been to asia before, I landed in Thailand 3 days ago. I’m finding it much harder than any trip I’ve done before, like there’s a social code that I don’t understand.

my biggest issue is food. I was told that street food is the best and I’ve been to a few markets and genuinely didn’t understand what anything was, how you order, etc. most stalls don’t really have menus but the food is out. I’m kosher too which adds another layer of anxiety, can’t eat pork or shellfish. I’m not lying when I say I’ve had one meal in 3 days. I’m going to chiang mai tomorrow which I hope is more relaxed, but if it’s similar I need to learn how to navigate this.

I guess my questions are:

-Is there anything that’s reliably sold at most stands that I can just fall back on if I don’t know what anything else is?

-What are the plastic bags with food in them? They look like the type of bags you’d get a goldfish in at the fair, but there’s like soup ingredients, how does that work?

-Is there an easy way to tell the people at the stall that I’m kosher/will they know what that means?

-Do you tip at the stands?

And any other advice you have would be welcomed, I basically need things explained to me like I’m 5 before I can feel comfortable