need help for a gift for my (38M) autistic friend who's struggling with depression, loneliness, social anxiety and romantic inexperience 🙏
I want to get my friend (38M) one of Dr. K’s guides as a birthday gift. He’s going through a really rough time and I care about him a lot. He has autism, depression and social anxiety, and is also suspected to have avoidant personality disorder. He’s never been in a romantic or sexual relationship, which is his biggest source of distress — he desperately wants connection but has lost all hope that it will ever happen, and is increasingly isolating himself.
He’s highly intelligent but struggles a lot emotionally. He tends to over-analyze everything through a purely evolutionary/biological lens, which keeps him stuck in negative thought patterns and self-blame. He’s been in therapy before but never felt truly understood by his therapists. I’m also a bit worried he might be on the edge of falling into incel/red pill/manosphere thinking — he’s not there yet, but the signs are there.
What makes it even more complex is that he’s actually a very sensitive and caring person who is genuinely good at making friends and maintaining platonic relationships — especially with women. The disconnect between that and his romantic life is huge, and I think that makes his situation even more painful and confusing for him.
For context: I’m autistic too and we met in a support group. I’m happily in a long-term relationship, so before anyone suggests it — dating each other is not on the table! I just genuinely want to help him.
He’s in the process of finding better professional support, but I want to give him an extra push. The love, sex and relationships guide caught my eye, but since he’s in a really low place right now, I wonder if the depression or anxiety one would be more helpful to start with. For those of you who have bought them — what do you think? Which one would you recommend FISRT (i'm broke lol😭) and in what order?