New here looking for some support
I don't really know where to start, but over the past couple of years my husband's drinking has increased and he has now started lying to me about it. He had a weed addiction and quit cold turkey where he started to supplement with booze. After a year of no weed he is now smoking again and has only increased his drinking.
He is high functioning, has a full time job working from home and is a great father. We have a farm as well and he is very productive. I worry he overworks himself and about his isolation at home.
I've spoken to him before when I found about 17 massive bags of empties that accumulated in three months just after our second child was born. They were stored in a part of the house I don't go to and my mom actually brought it up to me. Her parents were alcoholics and she clocks those things quickly.
I spoke to him from a place of concern for his health to which he acknowledged that it was a lot. He heard me out and was kind, but I never really saw a change. I started to watch more closely and realized he is an alcoholic.
I see him falling down a slippery slope with the increase in drinking as this continues. He lied to me for the first time (that I know of) this weekend about running out of alcohol and proceeding to get more. I found the empty beer cases and more in the trunk in the car ready to be drunk. I was incredibly upset he lied to me about it. We were together all weekend as a family and drove places together and I had no clue he was drinking either. I feel kind of stupid for missing it.
Earlier in the month I had to go away for school for a couple of days and I found empties when I got back in the bedside table looking for the heat pump remote. During this time he was watching our kids while I was away.
Ultimately I'm really struggling with trusting him alone with our kids. On my way out to work this morning he was smoking a massive joint and when I pointed out that he has to drive the kids to daycare he was annoyed with me but put it out. I don't know how much he was drinking when I was away but I didn't think he would at all in case they needed to drive somewhere. I don't want my children to be caught in the crossfire when this gets further out of control and he hits rock bottom. If he hits rock bottom.
I'm really isolated where I live with no family close by. My in laws expressed a bit of concern before but when I tried to involve them last time I addressed the situation my husband was incredibly angry with me. He also gets mean when he hasn't had his fix and I don't like how he speaks to me like I'm stupid in front of our children.
Anyway I'm just ranting I guess but it is hard. I don't know how to support him, how to address this concern about the safety of the children in a way that will land.
Any wisdom, support or word of advice would be greatly appreciated.