u/shitshows22

So, if you’re a second year member, does your award all go to student loans??? I could’ve sworn we get a portion. Am i dumb?

****SEGAL

My boyfriend (30M) and I (29F) have been together for a little over 3 years. Our relationship has had a lot of financial stress. For a long time he struggled to keep a job and was fired multiple times. During that period I made a lot of sacrifices to keep us afloat and help us build a stable life together.

Things finally started getting better when he landed a well-paying job. Financially we’re in a much better place than we used to be, but I still feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Recently I graduated with my master’s degree, which was a huge accomplishment for me. I’ve been looking forward to taking a cruise this summer to celebrate and decompress. We have only taken one vacation together in our entire relationship, and he paid for that one. I planned to pay for this trip myself to treat us both.

A few days ago he missed an important work meeting (I think he may have slept through it). His boss was apparently very upset. He didn’t really talk to me about what happened, but I’ve seen this pattern before and my anxiety immediately went to, “Is he going to lose another job?”

I asked if he could take some time off this summer and he said after the conversation with his boss he doesn’t feel comfortable asking for a week off.

Here’s where I’m struggling. I’m a teacher and I’m about to be on summer break. I really don’t want to spend another summer sitting around waiting for someone else’s situation to improve before I allow myself to enjoy my life. If I suggest taking a solo trip, he gets upset and says he doesn’t trust the idea of me traveling alone. He’ll imply that something inappropriate could happen or that it’s not a good idea unless I go with someone else.

At this point I’m exhausted from planning my life around other people. I don’t want to cheat. I don’t want to end the relationship. I just want to celebrate finishing my master’s degree and take a vacation.

How would you approach this conversation???

TL;DR: After years of financial instability and putting plans on hold, I want to take a cruise to celebrate earning my master’s degree. My boyfriend may be having job issues again and doesn’t want me traveling alone.