u/shy_guy0923

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I don’t really know how to explain this properly, but I feel like I’ve reached a point where I try to get help, and it just doesn’t really change anything for me.

I made a post yesterday and many people reached out to me. Some were kind, some gave advice, some tried to support me emotionally. I appreciate all of it. But honestly, after reading everything, I still felt the same. Nothing really shifted inside me.

It’s not that people are bad or that they don’t care. It’s just that I don’t know how to receive help properly. I think I struggle a lot with opening up in a real way. Even when I try, I feel blocked, like I can’t fully express what is going on inside me.

I have also tried therapy multiple times. Around 5 different therapists. But every time, I find myself unable to open up fully. I either go blank, or I talk about surface-level things, or I end up minimizing everything. So I never really feel understood, even though I know they are trying to help.

On top of that, I deal with a lot of self-hate. I don’t like myself most of the time. I overthink my past, my mistakes, and my identity. I feel stuck in my own thoughts and I don’t know how to move past them.

Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions of trying to get better—posting, talking, trying therapy—but nothing actually changes inside me. That is the most frustrating part. I want things to improve, but I don’t know how to actually let help in.

I’m not blaming anyone. I know people try their best to support me. I just feel like something in me is not allowing help to work.

I don’t really know what I’m expecting by writing this. Maybe I just want to understand why I can’t change even when I try different things. Or maybe I just want to know if anyone else has felt like this before.

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I don’t really know how to write this, but I feel like I’m at a point where I can’t keep everything inside anymore.

From the outside, I look like a normal student. I go to university, I talk to people, I complete my responsibilities. But internally, I feel like I have been breaking for a long time and just learning how to hide it.

My childhood was not emotionally stable. My parents used to fight a lot, and there was very little peace at home. I don’t remember feeling emotionally safe growing up. Even basic things like having proper meals before school were not consistent. I often went to school and later university on an empty stomach and just learned to live with it silently.

I think that kind of environment changes you deeply. It makes you used to loneliness. It makes you feel like you are on your own even when you are surrounded by people.

Later in life, I went through something very traumatic. I was sexually assaulted by someonetat gunpoinfter meeting someone through a dating app. That experience changed my mind in ways I still struggle to understand. Since then, I deal with fear, anxiety, and constant uneasiness, especially around unknown people or calls. It feels like my body never fully relaxed again after that.

I also carry deep regret about something I did in a past relationship. I did something bad and i told the truth afterward, and the relationship ended. I have been living with that guilt for a long time. It is something I think about often, and it affects how I see myself.

Over time, I feel like I have lost my sense of self. Most days I feel numb or emotionally exhausted. I try to stay busy with studies, university, and other activities, but when I am alone, everything becomes heavy again.

I also struggle a lot with my self-image. I don’t feel comfortable with how I look. I avoid mirrors. I avoid eye contact. I often wear a cap because I feel uncomfortable being seen. I know it may not make sense to others, but it feels very real to me.

And the hardest part is that I don’t feel like I’m really living anymore. I feel like I am just surviving each day and waiting for it to pass.

I also have thoughts at times about not wanting to exist anymore. I am not actively doing anything, but the thoughts come and go, and they scare me because I don’t feel like I can see a way forward right now.

I don’t know what I expect from posting this. I just know I’ve been carrying all of this alone for a very long time, and it has become too heavy to keep inside.

If you read this, thank you for taking the time.

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Hi everyone,

I’m not really sure how to start this, but I guess I just need to get it out somewhere. I’ve been feeling really low lately and kind of isolated, and I thought maybe I could try reaching out here and see if I can find some people to talk to or maybe even become friends with.

Life has felt really heavy for me recently. I’ve been stuck in my own thoughts a lot, overthinking things from the past and struggling with feelings I can’t really explain properly. Some days it feels like I’m just going through the motions and not really living in the way I used to or want to.

I don’t really have many people I can talk to openly about how I feel, so most of the time I just keep everything inside. That’s been getting harder lately, and I think I just reached a point where I don’t want to do it alone anymore.

I’m from Pakistan, and it can feel quite isolating here sometimes, especially when you feel different or just not fully understood. I guess I’m hoping to connect with people who might relate in some way or who are also just looking for genuine friends to talk to, even about everyday things.

I’m not really looking for anything complicated—just honest conversations, checking in on each other, maybe sharing music, thoughts, or just talking about life in general.

If anyone feels the same or wants to talk, feel free to reach out. It would honestly mean a lot to me.

Thanks for reading.

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