u/sillyevilgirl

okay idk if the title comes off as weird but lemme explain, in middle school some guys used to say i dont look like a girl and i think i started to force myself to believe i enjoyed being called a male to cope with the bullying, i hate that my old bullies will never know how bad it was that i gaslight myself into thinking i was smtg i wasnt, i developped gender dysphoria and i started harming myself bc of some stupid guys, i feel like i wasted my teen years by coping this way, i wish i was actually trans so that those feelings wouldnt have been “ pointless ” yk

i understand people being curious about their online friends looks and im also curious abt how my friends look like but whenever i tell em im ugly they always say "no im sure ur pretty" but then when i face rev they never say i am and start to get distant, like okay? i told them i wasnt pretty to lower their expectations so why even act surprised (; ;) i also hate when ppl ask about my bodytype bc im not the pretty slim thick hourglass girl they wish i was, i hate my body, i hate my face, nothing abt them is appealing, i wish i could just become a pretty pinterest girl ngl

haiii👀👀 its 5am n i cant sleep so uh yea bmf ill chat w yall👀 i like manwhas, my fave is unchanged man uhhh i suck at convos so pls try to start it first :3! okay

why did adults always have to say this to me as a kid, how was i supposed to end up in a good place if they kept on feeding me with lies to shut me up from complaining abt bullying, now that im an adult it js feels like they were softlaunching that guys can be abusive or wtv bc they like you, this feels so wrong, i know im ugly so i shouldnt hope for an amazing man in my life and should be happy with what i have, but damn thats genuinely scary to think that adults made me think it was okay cus it was attention in a way idk

i feel like my face isnt girly nor anything, when i look in the mirror i just see a guy with tits, like, i was born female but my face js doesnt look like i was? idk i hate it sm even when i put a shit ton of makeup on i still feel like a dude, i wish i looked like all those pretty girls i see online, i want to look like a pinterest girlie not a botched guy, i wish i had soft & cute features then maybe ppl would stop treating me like a monster