u/sillypastalover

omg, i remember this one time when i was at the park with my friends nung 2nd sem kasi may kailangan kaming i-film. common naman talaga for couples to hang out there, pero grabe, ibang level yung PDA ng mga tao. 😭 may couple doon na yung guy was sitting on the table while the girl was sitting on a chair in front of him, and they were making out for hours kahit open public place and kitang-kita sila. after they left, may sumunod na group of six, three girls and three guys, and nalaman namin na couples pala silang lahat. putcha, sila naman yung nag-momol in front of each other, tapos eventually parang nagpapalit-palit pa sila ng partners. mukha pa silang bata. 😭 kami naman nasa kabilang table lang, and napansin ata nila na silently pinagtatawanan namin sila kasi panay tingin sila sa table namin.

i’m really insecure about my bikini area, and not just there but also my elbows, armpit, and knees. i also have a lot of scars on my butt and stretch marks, which makes me feel even more insecure about my skin. i’ve been trying to take care of these areas and improve the appearance of my skin, so i’m already using kojic acid, glycolic acid, and niacinamide. but honestly, i still feel insecure because i don’t really see much improvement yet, and i’m not sure if i’m using the right products or if i’m just being impatient.🥲

tataka ako bakit ang bilis at ang laki ng nababawas sa PH Care ko for no reason, so nung nagreklamo ako sa bahay, nalaman ko na my younger brother, who’s only 11 years old, has been using it as body wash for several days. Akala ko may ibang gumagamit or may kumukuha nang patago, yun pala pinang sasabon na ng kapatid ko yung PH Care ko kasi nababanguhan daw siya sa amoy. 😭 Now it finally makes sense kung bakit ang bilis niyang maubos HAHAHA.

my social anxiety is affecting me so badly talaga, especially sa grades ko, making friends, and basically everything. syempre ngayong 2nd year college na ko, kailangan ko na talagang umalis sa comfort zone ko na laging nag aavoid makipag usap sa iba, kasi feeling ko napag iiwanan ako. i even noticed na yung mga so called “friends” ko nasa ibang section na, magkakasama sila sa isang section without even telling me, and that’s when i realized na i wasn’t really a part of their circle to begin with. wala man lang akong matinong cof or anything, and fear of judgment na rin talaga kahit normal lang naman yan, pero yk. i also need advice on socializing, especially on how to speak up for myself in any kind of situation lalo na kung academics, kasi i really struggle with that.

kala ko mature na pag college. unang experience ko sa 1st year college and 1st sem ko is just unhinged and ironic. they invited me sa circle nila, only to later tell me na they invited me out of pity kasi wala daw akong friends and because the other girl likes me, even though i used to ignore their invites because i was with my high school friends and they knew that. i was never a loner, i was just quiet and didn’t want unnecessary drama. eventually, sumama ako sa kanila mostly for groupings and academic purposes, and after a month, i genuinely thought they were my friends, pero apparently hindi pala. around mid october, lyz started beefing with me after she lost her id at a place where we got piercings, even though she removed it herself and i never told her to do so. she also complained na bukang bibig ko daw puro pagpapa piercing and accused me of not helping with our project. kish would message me around 1 to 3am despite knowing we had a 7am class, even though i already told her i wasn’t available that late, but i still communicated with her after school, apologized, did the work she assigned me, and contributed to the project. despite that, during the reporting, my name and all the work i contributed were removed from the project, which affected my grades. jes was constantly talking about her sx life, openly discussing sx even around kids, bragging about the people she had been with, and even told me when i was 17 that i should sell my virginity for 10k and acted like it was normal. batang ina by choice moments, pero she doesn’t care since mayaman sila. she also tried to seduce our male teacher na kala mo ang sarap sarap niya and openly cheated during tests by using her phone even when teachers noticed. eventually, lyz, kish, and jes turned against me mainly because lha liked me. lyz constantly compared herself to me and tried to prove she was better so lha would choose her despite having a boyfriend, and she committed sa against lha while drunk and made disturbing comments about r@p!ng lha. she also said kish should be r@ped to become straight because kish is into girls. nalaman ko na gusto rin pala ako ni kish because she was taking pictures of me without my consent and posting them online sa ig niya. despite all of that, they still judged me for smoking cigarettes to cope with my problems and acted like i was the immature one. while we were still classmates, there were multiple incidents where they bullied me so badly that i ended up missing school for an entire week, and it seriously affected my mental health over a guy. i can’t even explain everything because this is already too long, but even during 2nd sem, when we were no longer classmates and basically had no connection anymore, they still continued to actively bully me. jes also posted a picture of me without makeup during the finals, kahit wala naman siyang nagawa for the finals namin, tapos triny pa niyang magpa cute dahil wala siyang gawa, which was honestly embarrassing kasi bakla yung teacher namin.

edit: 2nd year college na ako ngayon, and nalaman ko rin na kaklase ng bf ko yang mga yan, and andami ko pang experience sa kanila, katamad lang mag type at magbasa. lmk if may grammatical errors pa rin para maayos ko, tnx.