u/silofortress

Hallucinating voices near sleep

I’m sure this has been talked to death already, but I had what I consider to be my second experience with truly lucid dreaming last night and it freaked me out.

When it began, I could tell that I was halfway between sleep and waking. I knew I could move my body if I wanted to and I felt relatively conscious - I even remember recognizing “oh, I think I’m dreaming lucidly, I should try to conjure something fun.”

But I didn’t see much of anything in that surface level of sleep. Mostly, I started hearing things, voices specifically. I heard one in particular that was dominating everything. It was this deep, unsettling rumble and I can’t remember anything it said specifically but I do remember that it was reacting to my conscious thoughts. The voice almost felt sentient, maybe evil.

It freaked me out quite a bit, and I ended up resurfacing from sleep after talking to it for a while (and eventually feeling like I needed to get away from it), at which point the voices all totally disappeared.

Does any of this sound concerning? It sounds ridiculous but they say that anyone can develop schizophrenia at any point in their life. I never believed that the voice was real, but it felt so present, like it was talking to me, like it knew what I was thinking.

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u/silofortress — 6 hours ago

Sharing my past with girlfriend

A little over a year ago, in a time of spiritual darkness, I met with strippers privately. The visits were one-on-one. We did not have sex, no clothes came off, but I paid them for sexual gratification and to fulfill a fantasy. I hated it both times, have repented sincerely for dishonoring those women and my own body, and I believe that God forgives me.

I’ve been dating my current girlfriend for a little under half a year now, and I feel spiritually compelled to share this with her. She deserves to know. But even though I am washed clean, I am still so ashamed and afraid to name my sin out loud. I haven’t told anyone yet, and I am fully past it, but telling someone I love that I made such selfish and sinful decisions seems like the scariest thing in the world.

I guess I’m making this to ask for prayer. Advice is very welcome.

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u/silofortress — 24 days ago