u/skatesinthesky

My father (56M) and I (32F)were both born with dislocated lenses. We were tested at University of Michigan 30 years ago for Marfans (due to my eye surgery) and it came back that we do not have Marfans

Fast forward to now, we have now detected that my 4 year old daughter has dislocated lenses. We will be removing them, but the doctor is concerned about Marfans due to family history. He is having her sent for a cardio appointment before he will schedule lens surgery.

He also wants me to get her tested for Marfans and wants me to get my heart checked.

My dad and I have never had heart issues. He is tall. I am short (5’3”).

I am just wondering what anyone’s thoughts are. Could it be that we do have a form of Marfans that just wasn’t caught? Or just another genetic abnormality?

I have a 4.5 year old/17 month old.
Today I was thinking about going away for my first solo weekend (I’ve never left over night). My husband is very protective. So I don’t worry about him. But we do have a pool. (Triple fenced, lots of locks & safeguards in place/more safety was added after this incident).

And somehow it got me thinking about Bs mindset. I truly just do not understand how you aren’t in total focus, militant, near-survival mode knowing this is your first time solo-dadding your TWO children with your wife gone. The first HOUR that you’re alone? The police report is wild. He seemed so non-chalant and chill about the choices he was making in that timeframe. Actively allowing your child to be out by the pool while your eyes, body and focus are nowhere near them, knowing you have a very distracting newborn to care for.

It is just baffling. As a parent, they say having a child is like walking around with your heart outside of you

How was he able to feel content permissing that sweet little boy to go out there? There has to be something very wrong with a person who can make that kind of choice.

I know I’m beating a dead horse. I just needed to commiserate.

I weaned my second daughter cold turkey yesterday. I did the same with my first around the same time. It wasn’t planned, it just happened to be that day that she went a very long time without nursing so I decided to capitalize on it. Weaning makes me anxious because I have no idea how the baby will handle it emotionally. We got through one hard hour and she’s been great since… 36 hours since our last session. My boobs are full, but I can’t explain the amount of relief I feel and my mood feels so much better. I feel like I am more patient and more motivated, more calm and less anxious. When I am breastfeeding, I feel such an intense soul-tie-anxiety to my children and I really think we just feed off each other (no pun intended). Today my daughters played together for the LONGEST time they’ve ever played - and I really think it’s because my girl is weaned. Before this, she would nurse several times an hour every hour and it was just A LOT.

Anyways, anyone else feel a lot better after weaning? I am happy that I made it this far with each of my girls, but definitely ready to move forward with this next chapter.

Hello. I posted yesterday about my 4 year old potentially having a myopia diagnosis. But I want to get thoughts on our experience at the appointment, because now I am second guessing things.

It was a Friday, 4pm appointment at an optometrist office that does not specialize in children.
When it was my daughters turn, they sat her in my husbands lap and the assistant quickly explained what would happen while my daughter started in the autorefractor.

She told me my daughter is -22, myopia.

After this, she (assistant) started quickly trying to show my daughter shapes and letters. She was not explaining things thoroughly.
We were trying to help the assistant in communicating with my daughter (she knows how to read and she knows her shapes, she just needed more direction on what to do). Anyways…

Assistant gets the doctor and doctor decides to dilate daughter’s eyes. She says we will dilate and come back in 30 minutes (it’s about 4:15)
At 4:36 they call us back in and start the autorefractor exam again. So not quite 30 minutes. They get a -18 reading this time.

I am curious if not waiting the full 30 could have had an impact? My husband also claims that they did not fully get the drops in one of my daughter’s eyes.

They then try the letters and shapes again. My daughter still struggled, but they did it at a slower pace. The doctor then proceeded to do the other exams on my daughters eyes, my husband said (from his vantage point) half the time it didn’t even seem like the doctor was lined up with my daughters eyes.

She said it looked like her eyes/lenses were healthy, but then said she is going to refer us out because she can’t get a good reading and that a more specialized pediatric ophthalmologist could be helpful.

It was inching quite close to 5 and it just seemed like everyone wanted us out of there…

It’s clear my daughter is struggling. But everything I look up about this doesn’t seem to make sense. She can read, she has to be 6-12 inches away to read. But she can. She can identify faces and objects when she’s 12-24 inches away. She stands close to the tv but she doesn’t have her nose in it.

Is it possible that this was a wildly inaccurate reading and that her vision is not as bad as they’re saying it is?

I am fully prepared for it to be, it just seemed like things were off. And -18 seems extreme for the way she behaves.

I’m just confused and worried. Thanks for any input,

I am feeling so guilty that we didn’t catch this sooner. We had a challenging year with our newborn daughter last year or else I think I may have faced this reality a few months sooner (she herself had extreme eczema, food related, now healed). Anyways. I finally have been able to get my daughter to verbalize her vision issues after talking to her about why she stands so close to the TV. (For the longest time we thought it was behavioral).

This eye doctor was not the most equipped for kids, but after dilating my daughter she said she was getting a -18 reading and couldn’t get a “reflex”. She said she was referring her to a pediatric specialist and would not prescribe anything. It was hard to get many answers out of her and it made me wonder what she was missing/not saying.

I was born with aphakia and had cataracts/lenses removed as a kid. She said she did not see cataracts in my daughter. She also said she didn’t see any nystagmus in my daughter. But I swear I see her eyes shake sometimes.

Anyways. I’m just feeling so worried about the future. My aphakia came from my father. We never suspected it in my daughter up until more recently?, her vision had always seemed fine/normal. She loves puzzles, she reads, she colors… but recently she’s just been getting closer and closer to whatever she’s doing, which is what finally opened my eyes - no pun intended.

From what I’m reading about myopia, it seems there are risks to it that I have not dealt with with my condition. I continue to read your posts to see what I may be up against. Hoping our referral appointment is soon so I can get my girl seeing better.