draining 1.5 year cycle
I dont know where to start, or if this is the right thread for insight. Pisces F 31, in a on & off LDR with a 27 F Virgo. We bump heads a lot when it comes down to proper communication, actually understanding where both sides are coming from when we argue. I told her when we met the way she addresses me to people & out of anger calling me a bitch, is a dealbreaker and shes vocally made it known of a practice to not do that. Im not the best person, nor medically diagnosed of being narcissistic, but i do show traits and my actions are npd like, and shes called me this many times. Ironic whenever we fight, it's around our "anniversary" date, the 4th. Ive had a long week dealing with job issues, finding out my dog has cancer, on top of supporting her with what shes got going on and days ago i jokingly said an argument would seal the deal. Friday I forgot to unmute her while I was talking to a customer & in the midst realizing this is the day, avoiding confrontation made shit worse and now im the bad one for not having a clear answer. I expressed her reaction is overboard, as in generally an issue people should not give a fuck about. Whenever shes upset her old ways pop out and Im left feeling like shit cause I keep taking this girl back expecting a change, while I progress and work with her that Im slow at understanding emotions and tryna do better at validating her.
We go months not communicating, and I end up answering the phone to her having some type of mental breakdown at 3am and support her...but when Im going through one in front of her bc im overwhelmed of being shut out by her, im called out my name and sent mindgame texts like this.