u/slavaukrine

To repeat: I am old and since I got a medical diagnosis of something that will probably kill me in a year or two I have been dreaming of other deaths.

I talk about my belief system. I am not asking for debate of my belief system.

This life was in North America.

I was a girl, a young child, maybe 10. It was summer and we were camped between 3 extremely large hills.

I was with a group of children and we were nearly on the top of a hill, with the camp below in the valley.

When I looked down at the campsite—I would compare it to looking down from a 20 or 30 story building.

There were 8 other children and I. Plus, a hunter (warrior) protecting us.

We were gathering berries and other plants that had to be picked in the morning.

I could see large animals on the top of a hill about a mile or two away as the crow flys. I want to say they were hairy elephants, not mammoths, However I seriously don’t know. My child self had other names and was a little frightened of the animals.

It started to become brighter, and I heard a sizzle in the air.

I see lights streaking across the sky. Most are very small, but there are three that keep getting bigger and brighter.

I am startled but not really afraid. The hunter says they are falling stars, that come every year.

Three super big and bright ones streak overhead and then disappear over the horizon.

I just started back to picking berries when a mighty wind knocks us all head over heels. The hunter is actually picked up and thrown and is hurt.

Then a boom so loud some of us can’t hear for a few minutes.

I start crying and I look down at the camp but it seems undamaged. Just everyone acting confused.

Several adults start up the hill towards us. The hunter says for us to keep picking. ( it kind of calms us down. All the children love the hunter and are happy he was only stunned.)

The adults from the camp just reach us, when the ground starts to shake. There is a low rumble that keeps getting louder and louder.

A brown wave nearly as tall as the hills is coming right at us.

I start to cry! My best friend starts to run down the hill, only to be caught by one of the adults.

The brown wave comes directly at us. The adults and the warrior grab children and run to the top of the hill.

Within seconds the wave hits our hill and washes around it. There is maybe ten feet between the top of the hill and the wave of dirty, churning, black/ brown water.

I catch my breath, the warrior is telling us to breathe and we are safe.

I look up to the hill where the animals were and there is nothing except the water.

There are only a few hill tops visible.

Then I notice water rushing on either side of our hill is scouring large chunks of the dirt out.

All around there is only shaking, noise and water.

All day and all night the shaking, the noise, the water. And our hillside being washed away, falling away.

We have no food, no extra clothing, no drinkable water.

I don’t know how long the water lasted. When it was done I was soaked and cold, and unbearably thirsty and hungry.

When I looked around both sides of our hill was gone.

Just about thirty feet of the very top was left with a vertical drop of hundreds of feet on either side.

Below was mud, rocks, trees, and the dead. Animals smashed and torn apart.

That night the sky was incredible. The spiral of life all across it it from one end to the other. It was so cold, only I felt warm and loved….

Hi,

I have posted a few times. Mostly about my personal beliefs and to reassure grieving people animals reincarnate.

I am old. I was recently diagnosed with a disease that in all likelihood will probably kill me within the next year or two.

I had a rather violent and traumatic NDE in my youth (24) that left some scars and more than some trepidation about moving on.

Most specifically, the trauma was caused by the life review. During my life review, I realized how much I lied to myself and that while I was not an evil person, I was really not a good person either.

Since my NDE I have tried to work very hard in being completely honest with myself. However, I still find that I do still practice some self deception. Not on the level I did before the NDE, but it’s still there.

So all my trepidation has been caused because I don’t want to go through another life review like I did when I was 24.

So now I am finally getting to the point of this post.

Since my diagnosis, I have been having dreams of what I call “ my greatest hits” of when I died.

The last night’s was in (I think) America in the late 1940’s or early 1950’s. I was driving a motorcycle across county and came upon a small city late at night. It felt like 12:00, maybe 01:00.

As my bike came over a hill and I saw five men. The road transitioned into a street with two and three story brick buildings on each side. The men were by parked cars spread out.

I vaguely thought the men could be dangerous, but I didn’t know this town and the street was clear.

I drove on and then an incredible feeling of calmness and serenity washed through me. And from somewhere I realized, “ oh, I was just shot in the right eye, and it went out the back of my left skull”.

Then I realized: there was no life review. I was meant to die in that place and at that time, for that life.

There was no frantic struggle like the life I drowned by slipping into a narrow waterway and being pulled under a rock.

The feelings were amazingly pure. I felt and right now still feel blessed. And I have been having several of these peaceful dream deaths.

Just wanted to share with anyone who is not my very Christian brother’s and sisters or children or very Catholic and atheist friends.

I am Er+Pr+

From my sister a Her2 survivor after I expressed worry about radiation and my heart.

“Then go ahead and catastrophize, be worried and miserable. It is not spples and oranges. You had less than I and you're expanding it as if you had major surgery. If doc says your heart is strong, then believe him.”
She loves the word catastrophize.
I know you were born with your temperament similar to little Elijah's temperament. He tends to sometimes replace joy with doomin' and gloomin'

A neighbor died. The family is selling the house. There are roughly 35 cats and kittens. Do they need to tell prospective buyers about the cats?

History or backstory:

A retired teacher fed cats. A large rescue offered to TNR her cats (starting with the first cats) every year for fifteen years and she refused.

A year ago she died. The family asked the neighbors to feed the cats until they could decide what to do.

A large rescue offered to help TNR and help the move the cats to the various family members homes.

For a year the family put off the neighbors and friends feeding the cats. The house has been renovated and is on the market.

The family has decided to leave the cats and stop feeding them.

Do they need to declare the cats?

I am 70. I wanted a mastectomy, but had to settle for a lumpectomy. A ginormous lumpectomy.

Margins are clear. The surgeon took a bunch of lymph nodes and they two are clear.

The issue is that they found a few cells or something of Her2. But they still listed me as negative, low positive. It’s been three months since my diagnosis and I still have not seen an oncologist. Deep south USA.

Brief medical history: I was shot in the abdomen with a shot gun in my early 20s. A robbery attempt at the convenience store I was working at to pay for school.

I have had seven major surgeries.
Each surgery took between 1 to 2 years to recover from. 16 non-surgical small bowel of obstructions.

Three piece of cake surgeries that really don’t even register on my radar. Two knee surgeries, and one broken hip, as I say very minor. Oh, I guess I should include the lumpectomy in the very minor category.

So now my tale of woe. I have severe osteoporosis. If I fall, I have a 90% chance of having a break. On top of that I have coronary artery disease. Also from the shotgun wound, I am chronically anemic and because I do not have a spleen, nor 50% of my gut ,my immune system is horrible.

Oh, and I was diagnosed three months ago, had the lumpectomy over a month ago, and I still haven’t seen an oncologist.

What I have read, is that any type of radiation therapy really messes up the bones. And with severe osteoporosis my bones can’t be messed up anymore. Also I’ve read how the drugs that they use you also messed up your bones.

So if I have a break, I won’t be able to live independently. So what’s the difference between not treating the cancer or treating the cancer breaking my hip again and not being able to live independently?

To be completely honest, the only reason I even got the screening mammogram is because I recently retired from animal rescue. I have three feral cats outside, and nine unsocialized cats inside that are sick. I also have two dogs that are pitbull mixes and nobody would take.

Thus, I think I would rather spend my time trying to find homes for my animals and enjoying them.

Spoilers

I am an animal rescuer. I have stopped watching after episode two because of spoilers about the cattle scene.

do we see the cattle getting killed? Or is RIP standing on a hill shooting down?

Thanks