u/sleepingismyasylum

For context I still consider myself a Catholic and believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. However I struggle with some of the views of the Catholic Church and because of that I don’t feel comfortable attending mass. I have spoken with a priest about some of my questions but in person can be hard to say you disagree with them to their face.

I don’t believe it’s wrong to be gay or to commit homosexual acts anymore than it is to have sex within a marriage without the intention of a child. The way my priest described it was that God calls for marriage to be a union between man and woman so homosexuality doesn’t fit in this. I don’t know what to do with this information though. Because I don’t believe God would reject gay people or consider their acts sinful if it is rooted in love.

So my question is how can I come back to the church when I wholeheartedly disagree with this principle? There are other ones but this is a big one that has bothered me for a long time and I feel like it is keeping me away from church because I don’t want to go to place that condemns something I don’t think is wrong.

My partner has been extremely good to me since we started dating and I have never really gotten mad at him. He’s normally off 3x a week and before he’d probably spend 2/3 of those days with me. Not the full day but something. I will be leaving the country for school in September so we don’t have a lot of time left together and I want to spend as much as possible with him before I go. But this past week I feel a bit neglected. I slept over one night and assumed we were going to do stuff the next day. But his friend had asked him for a ride to take a test so I ended up just going home. Then we were supposed to go to the pride parade on Saturday but he changed his mind. Which is fine, we planned something else. But when we were getting ready to meet up his friend dropped by his house unexpectedly. It was a friend he hasn’t seen in a while and it was a surprise visit so I said it’s fine just hangout. Monday he said he would help his friends move out that way he’d have today free to hangout. But he didn’t respond to my texts all day. Normally he says good morning to me. And he’ll text me when he gets home if he was busy. But I haven’t heard from him all day. I can feel myself starting to split on him. Like fuck him if he doesn’t care about me then let’s just break up. I know it’s not rational and not what I want but I can hear that thought in the back of my mind. I know my fear of abandonment is heavily influencing my thoughts right now so I’m trying to stay patient and not do anything extreme. But every hour he doesn’t text me I get more irritated and the urge to just freak out him is getting stronger. I feel like I’ve had my BPD under control lately but a lot of it has been due to his help. I just need someone to help talk me down from this before I lose it

I will be leaving for school in a different country for 2 years. My partner and I have been dating since last August. We’re planning to continue our relationship long distance because he is not able to come with me. I need some tips to help prepare for this. Preferably tips specific to having BPD. So ways to cope with abandonment anxiety, dealing with emotional impermanence etc