u/slim-potato

He isn't Eva's brother though, i adopted him later.

*First picture: before / second: after.

I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2021 but i was always changing medication or dosage and never getting better. Got into duloxetine, lithium, depakote, lexapro, latuda etc. I really think that it messed me so much that i got hypothyroidism with 26 years old.

In 2024 my father passed away and if you felt grief before, you know it makes you question a lot of things in your life, i started to wonder if i really had bipolar and even questioned my doctor but of course he insisted on the diagnosis.

2025 i went to the zoo for the first time and what it was supposed to be a happy moment with friends, i felt absolutely nothing, no emotions. It was in that moment i realized that I've been emotional sedated for so long that i forgot what was my normal self. I found a new psychiatrist and i got lucky because different from my old doctor, she didn't want me to take more medication, she actually said that i probably had ptsd from my childhood or maybe have resistent depression but that changing life style could be enough to fix it. (And therapy but this is for another story)

We starting tapering the meds, i already quit 2 that i wasn't taking for so long and now I'm quitting abilify that i took for 5 years. I was on 10mg now 5mg, but its been a slow process but well, it still a progress.

For the past 5 months, I've been less impulsive with money and food, sleeping better and less physically agitated, if you took antipsychotic you know what i mean. However, not gonna lie, i still a bit depressed and a bit flat, but I'm going through some personal stuff so i think its proportional to my current circumstances.

I have my adhd stimulants and antidepressant to go, but what i learned is you can't rush it, the more time you took the medication, the longer it will get to taper it 100%. But it's not impossible, you have to be patient.

(Btw looking at the first picture is crazy, i didn't realized how much my face changed till i starting getting back to my weight.)

Edit: also I'm not suffering crazy withdrawal symptoms during this process, usually it last 1 week after changing dosage but i still functional.

Edit2: English isn't my first language but i hope its understandable.

Edit3: i want to also be clear and say that I'm not 100% against psychiatric treatment, I'm sure some people need medication and have more quality of life with it. However, this wasn't my case, although there are very competent professionals, there are also ones only working for the money and not for the patient wellbeing. I shared my story to give hope to the ones feeling trapped to a medication that isn't helping them or making their life worse.