Terrified
I have been on a 500mg per day habit for around a year now. I went through a bad breakup with my girlfriend of 2 years at the time and started using heavily after I had moved back in with my parents. Girlfriend and I started to reconnect, I was still using and thought things were going well so I decided to get my own place and get out of my parents house. Girlfriend decided to split again and now I’m responsible for the full rent by myself and have no support system. I work 60 hours a week at two jobs just to afford the rent. I can’t afford to continue to pay for this habit, and now that the bans are ramping up it will eventually be impossible to even find any (which is good). I’m scared shitless of quitting. I can’t afford to take a significant amount of time off, but I don’t want to have to get on subs to quit either. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been thinking about tapering but boredom, anxiety, and loneliness make it extremely difficult to limit my intake and cut down each day. I’m already an emotional wreck because of the break up and I have all of these responsibilities that I can’t just put on hold. Does anyone have any advice? Maybe I’ll just have to bite the bullet and get on subs so that I can at least have some semblance of a normal life while I’m getting off the stuff. I’m terrified. I have 250 60mg tabs left to my name and literally cannot afford to get any more. Help!