How can I improve my mental state without professional help?
TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts
Hi. I recently turned 18.
I’ve been going through severe periods of apathy and what felt like depressive episodes since I was around 11. I’ve also had a pretty difficult life overall, and things have been hard for me for as long as I can remember. I don’t want to call it depression because I’ve never been diagnosed, and I don’t feel comfortable self-diagnosing myself.
But I know this is more than just being “lazy” or procrastinating. I’ve struggled with basic hygiene, and I spend most of my time in bed, not because I want to, but because I genuinely don’t have the energy to get up and do anything. Even basic things like cleaning my room or taking care of myself can feel impossible. I still have very little desire to live, and I often feel like I have no strength left.
I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts and self-harm for a long time, and I even made a suicide attempt when I was 14.
I currently can’t get professional help because I’m still financially dependent on my abusive mother, and I don’t have the means to pay for therapy or treatment myself.
I’m going to China soon to study, and I probably won’t be able to afford professional help anytime soon. But I really want to get better. I want to feel happy and actually enjoy my life.
So, what can I do on my own in the meantime? What has genuinely helped you improve your mental state when professional help wasn’t an option?